Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
August 01, 2015, 08:50:38 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Moderators: DreamGirl, EaglesJuJu, lbjnltx, Kwamina, livednlearned, Mutt, Suzn, Turkish, Waverider   
Advisors: maxen, madmom, once removed
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Login Register  
VIDEO: How To Reduce Conflict Do you have an emotionally difficult person in your life? Our natural response often make matters worse. Learn to better communicate using "S.E.T." (by Jerold Kreisman MD) and a DBT tool developed by Alan Fruzzetti, PhD. Break the cycle of conflict.
52
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: single player, or multi-player  (Read 479 times)
united for now
Emeritus
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Person in your life: Romantic Partner
Posts: 11110


Talking about solutions create solutions


WWW
« on: August 24, 2007, 12:47:30 PM »

I've been off all summer (a perk of being in education), and busy with my uBPbf, so haven't had much opportunity/time to be on here. Update... I  started to implement many of the things i've read to make myself stronger, and while I can't say the summer has been pefect, there has been some improvement on his part, and MAJOR improvements on mine. My boundaries are getting stronger, with me becoming more vocal on how and when he violates them, and also in following through on consequences.

I did want to relate a story, to see if anyone else has had similar experiences though.
My uBPbf suggests we both learn to play an action game, one of those war/soldier blow everything up kind of games. I had never previously played them, but I'm willing to try, so he spends one day learning, while I putz around the house doing other things. Then, he goes off to work and I try my hand at it. Of course my boys, 9 and 13, find this mildly amusing, and offer their own unique imput into helping me. I end up playing some single player by myself, and a few games as multi-player, with them helping me.

When bf finds out boys helped me, he is furious, saying that if they play, I don't learn enough on my own. Now, I finished 3 levels by myself, before I switched to multi-player, but that obviously wasn't enough in him mind. Wow, major blow up over how to play a game... I see is as a control issue on his part. I hurt no one by playing with my boys, and it is a personal preference if someone prefers to play by themself or with others...  :P

I held my ground, while also trying to let him know it wasn't about me not listening to him. While it is only a game, it was also a power struggle, and one that I wasn't going to give ground on.  Weird, how they can get so focused on something, and not let it go.

Anyway. I am still here. Reading and learning. You will hear more from me now that school is about to start again. I hope you have had an enjoyable summer 8)


Logged

Change your perceptions and you change your life.  Nothing changes without changes


Links and Information




Your Account
Settings
Moderation Appeal
Become a Sponsor
Sponsorship Account



TOOLS
Validation
Ending Cycle of Conflict
Triggering and Wisemind
Values and Boundaries
Becoming more empathetic
On-Line CBT Program
>> More Tools


VIDEO
What is BPD - Family
What is BPD - Romantic
What is BPD - Child
End the Cycle of Conflict
Validation Skills
Empathy Skills
Parental Alienation
Dialectal Dilemma (audio)


ARTICLES
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Diagnosis of BPD
Treatment of BPD
Series: My Child
Series: My Parent/Sibling
Series: My Significant Other
Series: My Spouse
Series: My Failing Romance


BOOK REVIEWS
Endorsed Books
Other Staff Reviews
Member Reviews


ARTICLES ARCHIVED
Symptoms of BPD
A Clinical Perspective
Treatment of BPD
Leaving a Partner
Depression
Sexual Addiction
Healthy Relationships



FOREIGN LANGUAGE
die Symptome einer Borderline-Persönlichkeitsstörung



MESSAGEBOARD
Top 50 Questions
Messageboard Guidelines
Directory



ABOUT US
Mission
History (Wikipedia)
Professional Endorsements
Policy and Disclaimers


OTHER
Facebook News

Google+
Google+ (Skip)
Video Blog
BPDResources.net
Helpful External Links
Domestic Violence Crisis
Suicidal Ideation




EMERGENCY
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

index.php?topic=56206.msg913187#msg913187
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!