Can I get a BPD diagnosis for my teen daughter?

[Think About It...]

I am mother to a 16 yr old girl who exhibits signs of BPD and has for the last 5-6 years.  Her behaviour continues to worsen and I am so concerned about what the next drama will be.  She has impulsive behaviour (shoplifts, is extremely flirtatious and I am afraid of what that will lead to), constantly lies, manipulates everyone around her, has very unstable relationships, and has no motivation towards anything.  She seems like an empty shell of a person and I rarely see any sign of what I would call real emotion.  She laughs but I would never call her happy.  I would say this is depression, but is lying, manipulation, impulsive behavior, no remorse or accountability, immaturity - are these all symptoms of depression?  I don't think so.  She also has petit mal epilepsy and has been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.  So, my question is, how difficult is it going to be for me to find a qualified therapist who will diagnose her with BPD at this young of an age?  She doesn't cut herself and has only threatened suicide once (to get attention), but how much longer until she is at that point?  What have your experiences with therapy taught you about this.

MelissaM

[MelissaM]

I am mother to a 16 yr old girl who exhibits signs of BPD and has for the last 5-6 years.  Her behaviour continues to worsen and I am so concerned about what the next drama will be.  She has impulsive behaviour (shoplifts, is extremely flirtatious and I am afraid of what that will lead to), constantly lies, manipulates everyone around her, has very unstable relationships, and has no motivation towards anything.  She seems like an empty shell of a person and I rarely see any sign of what I would call real emotion.  She laughs but I would never call her happy.  I would say this is depression, but is lying, manipulation, impulsive behavior, no remorse or accountability, immaturity - are these all symptoms of depression?  I don't think so.  She also has petit mal epilepsy and has been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.  So, my question is, how difficult is it going to be for me to find a qualified therapist who will diagnose her with BPD at this young of an age?  She doesn't cut herself and has only threatened suicide once (to get attention), but how much longer until she is at that point?  What have your experiences with therapy taught you about this.

MelissaM

[minion]

I've been told that doctors don't like to give a BPD diagnosis to teens because they're still in the developmental stages. I have also been told  that doctors will sometimes give a diagnosis of bipolar because this is often covered by insurance and BPD is not.

Regarding therapy - people who have posted here are positive about DBT. I don't have any experience with this, but have been looking into it as a possibility for my teenage daughter.

That's probably not much help, but there are many people who post here who are much more knowledgeable (did I spell that right?) than I am and I'm sure one will be coming along soon.

[Peace4us]

Melissa

While a diagnosis is a valid issue for treatment with a professional, getting one may not be easy but seeing someone qualified to help you is important.  Perhaps contact your local metal health association and ask them for a qualified therapist in your area.

For you however, do not wait to get a diagnosis to start to inform yourself about these issues and coping mechanisms. Read Stop Walking on Eggshells to start and look at the list of Book Reviews here at FTF for more suggested reading.

For me the label is not as important as the cure. For the quality of life for your daughter and yourself, begin to research and learn about how to handle the behaviours. The more you know the better choices and practices you can adopt.

Good luck

Peace4us

[Butterflygirl]

I used the Kreisman book, I Hate You Don't Leave Me, to diagnose my son. He had every symptom. The book helped me learn how to communicate with him using SET principles.

Support
Empathy
Truth

Understanding that he has mental illness helped me be more compassionate. He is still high maintenance, but he is my child.

[CA2CO2AZ]

Perhaps the new book "Borderline Personality Disorder in Adolescents"
A complete guide to understanding and coping when your adolescent has BPD,
by  Blaise A. Aguirre, M.D. will be as helpful to you (and your daughter) as it has been to me.