Fall of 2007: Part V - The All Clear? (A Must Read)

[Think About It....]

ya, I can't stand the baby talk either.  Its stupid and weird.

And the kissy face...at drop offs/ pick ups.  They do it right in front of my car ...even in the winter they put on their coats and come outside to say good bye...and then my exh does this Sammy Sosa thing that is the source of much laughter amoungst my friends and family...he pounds his chest twice, kisses his fingers and then gives a peace son and winks.  Its the funniest thing ever!

With her spinning right now, does she see the kids at all...or does she have 3 weeks to cool down?  Will she have contact with them ie. court ordered phone calls?   I worry about the BS she will say to them right now.

wow...three weeks with your kids.  Thats some good time for reprogramming and spending peaceful and loving time.  Enjoy!

[kellaroo]

ya, I can't stand the baby talk either.  Its stupid and weird.

And the kissy face...at drop offs/ pick ups.  They do it right in front of my car ...even in the winter they put on their coats and come outside to say good bye...and then my exh does this Sammy Sosa thing that is the source of much laughter amoungst my friends and family...he pounds his chest twice, kisses his fingers and then gives a peace son and winks.  Its the funniest thing ever!

With her spinning right now, does she see the kids at all...or does she have 3 weeks to cool down?  Will she have contact with them ie. court ordered phone calls?   I worry about the BS she will say to them right now.

wow...three weeks with your kids.  Thats some good time for reprogramming and spending peaceful and loving time.  Enjoy!

[safetyfirst]

Our little guy (GS4) is having a hard time now that evaluator has upped her time with him and included overnights.  Son spoke to her and was very clear that since she is living in BF house and he is sure they are sharing a bed (oh, she was VERY uncomfortable when he said that! ) that it is 'NOT OK' for child to be in the bed with them.  If he has trouble sleeping and wants mommy near, she can be in his room but he is not to be in their bed.  Since her time has been increased, GS doesn't want to sleep in his own bed, but insists on sleeping in Daddy's bed. (Daddy has no SO, nor is he even dating-no time, focusing on son and providing for son).  On the rare nights he gets him to sleep in his own bed, he usually finds him curled up in Daddy's bed in the morning having come in some time during the night.  With all the back and forth and her insecurities I think he's picking up on that and needs to know Daddy is there.

[Mr. M]

I pay the price for the vague "reasonable phone contact" clause in our order, which usually means I get to talk to them via phone once per week... but the beauty of it is - she only gets back what she gives.

I would likely initiate a Christmas morning call, and when she does call, if I answer the phone - it's just to hand it to the kids.

Just about an hour now before I gather up mmm, snag the kids from school, and we're outta here!  Leaving work in 10.  WOOT!

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? The focus of this board is about understanding the child, their needs, and supporting them in an intelligent and non self-sacrificing way. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are divorced, please go to Rebuilding our Life. If your topic is mostly about legal/custody issues, please go to Family law, Divorce, and Custody. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are still married, please go to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner. If you need help moving a thread, please contact a moderator. We are glad to help. :)

[Gagrl]

Just cuaught up on this thread...dear God in heaven, I laughed til I cried!

mmm, don't feel alone -- my husband's uN/BPD ex-wife is completely convinced that I alone am the source of all evil, specifically his separation and pulling away from her.  And the fact that they were separated for 14 years before I came along has nothing to do with it.  According to her N/BPD logic, he would still be totally available and "at service" to her, his adoring self always at her immediate disposal, had I not come along.

Sad.

But I always wondered who lived in la-la land with her, and now I know.

[Rose]

Just had to comment on the dependency that the exBPD's have with their children, and how teaching them anything is beyond impossible.  We also watched similar things happen:

1) The baby talk -- did this until the skids were 14 years old, when the skids told her to knock it off
2) Sleeping with the skids when they were younger.  When they were younger, we had to teach them to sleep well alone, and then one day it clicked for my SS15 that he was past yet.  Yet, our exBPD would make them sleep on the floor next to her some nights, just to keep her company.  Heck, one time last year, my SS17 had a bad dream, and exBPD let him sleep in her bed...so yep, sad, but true.
3) Blaming the secondary non for the woes of her relationships -- up to now, I've always been probably classified as *good*, but after this last week, I am definitely in the *black* side of things.  It actually feels good. 

[Jewls]

Also - the sleeping with the children is another common characteristic.  I understand that mom still sleeps "with them" until they fall asleep.  Sometimes, their Bipolar alcoholic sister "sleeps with them" when she stays over there... and that deeply concerns me.

Stink Weed sleeps with D8, which makes me extremely unhappy (when we were still together, she would occasionally find her way to our bed in the middle of the night and he would throw fits).  What's more disturbing is the fact that he sleeps in the buff.  When D8's at my house, I make her sleep in her own bed.  After a weekend with Stinky, it's always a task to get her to go to bed.

[crystal]

Oh Lord,
Mr M and MMM.

This is unbelievable! but so believable! funny only because you have won.

This is exactly the kind of stuff my STBXH says (never emails it--too smart for that). 

Have a WONDERFUL holiday.

In admiration,

Crystal

[Love the man hate the BP]

Hey guys...I can't believe I missed all of this since yesterday!  Geez...that'll teach me to go to work!

Speaking of work, the psych unit is just crawling with patients EXACTLY like your BPDex right now.  You know, the holidays, and all.  We can laugh (and we do!) but she is so, so, so psychotically delusional.  I know you know that.

Here's hoping the pickup of the boys went off without a hitch and you all are on your way.  Merry Christmas to you both...even you, gonad girl!   You rock,  mmm! 

[Mr. M]

We escaped and are home.   

[Her Mama]

Yea!  Home sweet home!  Did you escape with mmm's gonads intact?

[funefarm4]

You know, we've all noticed that their communications with us seem to come from a play book.

I agree, and as Mr. M's thread also confirms, they seem to change tactics without even blinking to "get what they want". It's like, oh, play number 2000b isn't working, let's see about play number 3,500,602.  Yes, let's do that one.

Psych ex has gone from bullying, pleading the victim, to blaming the secondary non(whom she had previously tried to befriend)...and none of her tactics worked, so she had nothing left, but to drop the whole issue.

This switching tactics thing annoys me and also freaks me out.  Amazing how they can run like 1000 miles an hour in one direction, turn on a dime and do the same in the other direction without even breaking a sweat.  Amazing.

We just got home from our little jaunt.  Baby is sick, nothing like an 8 plus hour drive with a sick infant, but we weren't quite frankly, sure of what we were going into, so both of us(hubby and I) went to the drop off, just in case.

Just wanted to catch up and see that it all went ok with you. Wishing you the best...

[safetyfirst]

I read Pschex's emails to my son last night, with much inflection and emotion .  He grinned and chuckled during my performance.  He sees the similarities and caught the 'she wants him back'.  He gloated in the fact that his ex is frustrated because 'he' doesn't have a girlfriend or even steady date yet (almost 2 years post divorce) so she doesn't have anyone to 'blame' for the break-up!  I'm so glad he has finally gotten it!  No more Mr. NiceGuy.  She is SO PISSED that he is following the evaluator's 'phone call guidelines' and not giving her an inch! 

She does accuse him of hiding behind the evaluator and me (his 'mommy').  The last few times son has picked up his son at her house there has been total meltdown going on with the child-kicking, screaming,etc-to the point that a few blocks down the road he has had to pull off the road and deal with it.  The last time she practically pushed/threw the child at him, outside with no coat (20 degrees out!). All was reported to the evaluator by my son so evaluator called out that SHE is to transport him for pick ups and drop offs for this holiday round. (pick up @ son's house, return to son's house).  She doesn't know it yet (son will inform her today when she returns him) but he is changing the Christmas afternoon drop off from his house to our house.  It's actually a mile and a half closer for her (and she drives right by on her way to his house).  But she will not like it because we will all be here and she will be 'so humiliated and embarrassed' He will go outside to get his son.  I will not allow her into my house to ruin my holiday with her saccarine (read false) holiday wishes.

Happy Holidays to all!