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Think About It.... Most high-conflict families have one or both parents who exhibit either narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive, histrionic, paranoid, or borderline traits. They may have parents who become rigid in their perception of the other and tend to deal with things in their extremes. The parents are polarized, viewing themselves as all good and the other as all bad. These parents focus on the traits within the other parent that reinforce this perception, and they approach each new conflict as verification of just how difficult the other parent is. These parents experience chronic externalization of blame, possessing little insight into their own role in the conflicts. They usually have little empathy for the impact of this conflict on their children. They routinely feel self-justified, believing that their actions are best for their children.. ~ Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D.
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Author Topic: Pre-Trial Settlement Conference (Long)  (Read 1649 times)
Jewls
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« on: January 15, 2008, 08:19:53 AM »

First, a little background, the condensed version, of course:

-Stink Weed and Jewls owned successful business #1 for 10 years.
-Stink Weed begins a new business venture in 2004 called business #2.
-SW and Jewls sell business #1 in early 2006.  Profit from the sale is enough to create a nest egg and pay for kids' college educations.  Jewls inquires about where the money is being deposited since personal accounts aren't showing any large deposits.  SW demands that she "trust" him, he knows what he's doing, all will be well.  Jewls becomes increasingly concerned as weeks go by and no news of where money is, SW continues to elude all questions.  Marriage has reached its end and Jewls asks for a divorce.  Business #2 employees approach Jewls with concerns, tell her to get possession of books and do research.  Jewls is horrified, discovers hundreds of thousands gone, money also being syphoned into another business owned by female.  SW gets wind of Jewls' discoveries, takes books and copies of evidence from Jewls' car and destroys and/or has bookkeeper change evidence.
-Lawsuits are filed against SW and Business #2.  SW isn't paying bills.  Jewls finds out the hard way that she is 50% owner in Business #2, a fact that SW hadn't previously disclosed to Jewls (Jewls asked not to be part of Business #2 at the inception, SW assured her she wasn't until lawsuits were filed, then SW gives Jewls the "Oh, by the way..." news).
-SW and female business owner move in together shortly after SW and Jewls' separation.  There is a CD set up for tax purposes (taxes owed as the result of sale of Business #1).  SW borrows over $200,000 against CD (estimated tax forecast is there will be significant proceeds from CD after taxes are paid) without Jewls' knowledge and with a Financial RO in place, and pours the money into female business partner's business.
-SW sells jointly-owned personal belongings for thousands and claims they "disappeared" from storage.
-SW living high life in Indy, LA and NYC with female business partner/gf/fiance, squanders away all profits from that business, as well.  SW and gf call things off in summer '07 leaving both broke. 
-Several attempts to settle with SW have failed.  He feels entitled to the little bit of remaining assets that are left.

As most of you are aware, SW has physically, emotionally, and verbally abused me, our S18 and D16.  He wasn't around enough (working or traveling) to do the same to D12 and D8.  He has actively tried to alienate me from D12 and D8 from the beginning of our separation, the depth of which I couldn't prove but was recently verified by ex-gf.  He has refused to exchange D8 when his visitation terminated on 3 separate occasions this past summer, one time for as long as 3 days.  He filed contempt charges against me because D16 won't visit him and claims I'm the reason.  He's chronically late with child support payments and consistently complains to all the kids, specifically D12 and D8, that I am the reason he doesn't get to see them very much (he has almost 50% time with them).

-His most recent settlement proposal was 50/50 division of remaining assets (very small amount), joint custody and 50/50 time with kids, a vehicle that I possess that he had given to me in the past, and 50/50 division of any remaining liabilities including lawsuits.  Unbelievable.

He remained in this stance yesterday.  My L began the conference by berating SW.  I had never seen SW so pale.  His L did not return the favor.  We managed to get through the financial issues with a large percentage awarded in my favor, he still felt entitled to more.  There has been some money coming in from the sale of an asset and when asked why he hadn't shared the proceeds with me, he actually tried to convince everyone in the room that he had handed me envelopes full of cash on a few occasions this past summer and I wasn't admitting to it!  He's a miserable liar.  My L, his L, and the paralegal that was also present were obviously disgusted with this statement, their facial expressions said it all. 

SW then made the statement that I was purposely keeping D16 from him (she tries to visit but every time is either grilled about me, disgusted with his behavior, or upset by his blaming, etc.) and that I am "badmouthing" him to the children and wants language in the settlement to specify that further badmouthing be grounds for contempt and that I have to actively encourage D16 to spend 2 hours EOW with him.  I let all in the room know that I have been actively encouraging and that this will continue to be a difficult task.  SW's L said he knows I am doing my best but will include the wording because his client wishes to do so.

The sticking point was and still is that SW indemnifies me from all current and future lawsuits and judgements (we're talking hundreds of thousands, folks).  He got us into this horrible mess, he should have to pay the piper.  We have insurmountable evidence against him and my L told SW and his L that he would be happy to take this issue to trial if need be and represent me PRO BONO.  SW actually jumped as though he had been slapped in the face. 

The settlement papers are being typed up today for my review and SW will be given a deadline.  Time to pray, cross fingers, do a rain dance, whatever.



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Her Mama
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« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2008, 09:04:35 AM »

Fingers, Toes, Eyes... all crossed and hopefully this will all be resolved.  Make sure he is forced to take your name off the debt.  I learned the hard way that in my divorce decree, a statement of being "held harmless" for the debt meant nothing.  As a result, there is a lien on my home for debt that J was held responsible for in our divorce.  Ya live and ya learn I guess.
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« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2008, 09:08:33 AM »

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you too.

On a practical note - you can't be a 50% owner of business #2 if you never signed anything (like a subscription for shares, etc), so don't let the threat of lawsuits regarding that business carry too much weight with you.

Fab
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« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2008, 09:24:41 AM »

Sweet fancy Moses, Jewlsie! You're doing great.

We have insurmountable evidence against him and my L told SW and his L that he would be happy to take this issue to trial if need be and represent me PRO BONO.  SW actually jumped as though he had been slapped in the face. 

The settlement papers are being typed up today for my review and SW will be given a deadline.  Time to pray, cross fingers, do a rain dance, whatever.


Oh, yeah. Here comes his signature. "Happy to take this to trial" and L will represent you "Pro Bono"?

Case fricken closed!

It's just a waiting game with these BPDs. Once they have to pay the piper...see a judge, they shut up toot sweet.

Is this the settlement of the finances and custody will be treated separately?

It's hard to type with all my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you.

--J
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Jewls
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« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2008, 09:37:06 AM »

Nothing is settled until all is settled, Jeffree.  We are going to revisit custody/visitation, etc., at a later date because it's such a sensitive, separate issue.  For now, everything will remain the same.  I will continue to document and watch closely.  My L and I agreed that any changes will result in Stinky working overtime on the alienation and the kids just don't need the extra drama right now.

Thanks for all the crossing everyone!

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« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2008, 11:41:37 AM »

Woo Hoo! Sounds like 2008 is ramping up to have some positive results for us here on the board...Praying it continues!  Son's custody issue is heading in a positive direction, too!

Hallelujah!
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« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2008, 12:40:22 PM »

WOW Jewls...WOW...did I say WOW

I am happy for you. It's coming full circle. Just a matter of time. Keep doing what your doing. I'm am so proud to feal your confidence growing through your posts. You can beat him Jewls and you will.

The pallor in his face..That was the sudden slap of the realization that you will fight to keep youself from taking the blame for his finacial and legal failures.

Just for my own curiosity...If you are deemed "not liable" legally, what has your lawyer said about criminal charges against SW? Also, what are the implications with the IRS? Any provable fraud? Any chance of stinky going to the pokey?
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funefarm4
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« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2008, 02:58:08 PM »

Wow. 

I am so keeping my fingers crossed for you.  Hoping it all works out and that you'll be closing this chapter of your life soon.

 
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« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2008, 02:59:22 PM »

Keep on keepin' on, Jewls.

I can't believe that the L said he would go to trial Pro bono..  that was quite an offer.  I hope Stinky will agree to your terms... eventually.  
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Jewls
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« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2008, 07:59:11 AM »

I was extremely surprised but pleased to hear my L say pro bono.  He's from an international firm and his fee is high.  He told me afterwards it's about the principal.  This was the first time he met Stinky and he said he was even worse than he imagined.

Last night was Stinky's visitation.  D8 was sick yesterday and was still sick this morning so we met and exchanged.  She told me she was feeling horrible last night but "daddy made me go look at a house he wants to buy."  She said it was "very big like the house we used to live in but the pool is outside instead of inside."  Monday, SW's L was explaining how much SW needed some cash from this settlement because he's broke and needs it to live.  How does a man so poverty-stricken suddenly have the means to buy a house of this magnitude? 

He's stinky, nasty, slime...
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Her Mama
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« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2008, 08:07:46 AM »

Hidden assets?  How do you know for sure he blew the money and didn't just put it in an account?  Perhaps in a friend or family members name?  I would definitely let your lawyer know about this, before things are finalized.
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« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2008, 09:55:18 AM »

Who knows with him.  I did email my laywer.  I'm not settling until all feels right.
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« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2008, 03:24:52 PM »

Hmmm...me smells something Stinky.

Jewls, we went thru the same thing, on a smaller scale of course with my ex.  He went apt shopping. Too poor to pay this and that mind you, can't cover health insurance, but he can afford to move out of state.  Turned out that it was all a ploy.  Signed the lease and everything.

In your case, could it be a Stink Meister game? 

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crystal
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« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2008, 04:27:40 PM »

Jewls.

fingers crossed.  All sounds very very promising.  Keep strong and stay the path. He will not doubt create a hiccup (or hurricane) but I think you can outlast it!

Crystal
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Jeffree
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« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2008, 04:33:35 PM »

How does a man so poverty-stricken suddenly have the means to buy a house of this magnitude?

Any chance he is dissociating even futher from reality and really doesn't have the means?

Could he be playing a game using your D8 to piss you off?

Maybe he's hidden lots of money and getting away with it.

Who knows with him? He's a sicko.

--J
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« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2008, 04:34:06 PM »

A selfish careless npd/aspd type can go through a huge amount of money in a relatively short period of time, especially if there isn't adequate income.  I think that Stinky is also very good at talking people into things, such as perhaps loaning him money that he shouldn't be loaned.  The other big house is in foreclosure?  Or he could just be "looking" so as to sound like a big shot when he talks to potential customers or associates:  "I'm going to be buying a house in such-and-such neighborhood as soon as I get everything worked out with the exh (you know what a b she is; keeping this going for all of this time)...   great neighborhood over there, good schools, great neighbors.  The house has bla bla bla."  

But, I agree, Jewls, don't settle unless you are fairly comfortable that the creep isn't hiding money in a Swiss bank account ... or some such.

So your L thought he was that repulsive?  
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Jewls
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« Reply #16 on: January 17, 2008, 07:28:40 AM »

Any chance he is dissociating even futher from reality and really doesn't have the means?

Could he be playing a game using your D8 to piss you off?

Jeffree and JK, I'm erring more on the side of game-playing and BS.  He is truly not capable of letting money sit in a bank account for long periods of time, it's just too out of character for him.
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Jeffree
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« Reply #17 on: January 17, 2008, 08:34:36 AM »

I have shared my ex's own grandiose thinking from the past. But here's a refresher.

In 2006, she took over the NYC territory and walked into the potential to make $735K if she closed the deals that were in her territory. That is part of the reason I believe she up and left. She didn't want to share. So, I was originally defending my honor, but also looking to split 50-50 the proceeds of those sales considering the huge sacrifices I made to support her career while we were married. Her case was in part set up to discredit my contributions so she wouldn't have to share.

So what wound up happening? She closed one deal worth $1.5 million instead of the $8 million that was out there and she got fired for that and having an affair with her boss...oh, and spending $56K in corporate travel expenses to fund her affair. Once there was nothing of much financial worth to protect, she cut her losses and settled.

The lesson? They're insane.

But, no, really...get what you need to get by and forget the rest, Jewls. Chances are there isn't anything there worth fighting over, and who cares what more you could possibly squeeze out of him as long as you can get by with what's been settled on?

The thing about BPDs is they are masters at using what we want--fairness, to be heard, to control the situation, money, vindication, custody, etc.--against us. Meanwhile, all they want is to control and destroy us and we often give them the fricken keys.

Take back all the keys and let him rot in tarnation.

--J
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« Reply #18 on: January 17, 2008, 02:04:15 PM »

But, no, really...get what you need to get by and forget the rest, Jewls. Chances are there isn't anything there worth fighting over, and who cares what more you could possibly squeeze out of him as long as you can get by with what's been settled on?

The thing about BPDs is they are masters at using what we want--fairness, to be heard, to control the situation, money, vindication, custody, etc.--against us. Meanwhile, all they want is to control and destroy us and we often give them the fricken keys.

Take back all the keys and let him rot in tarnation.


Wow.  Now that is wisdom.  Such truth and applicable in many situations.  Jeffree--I'm going to print this out, save it, and see how I may be giving my ex "the keys" so to speak.

I know in my case the house was the big thing.  HUGE.  He was so convinced I'd never leave if he just wouldn't let it be sold etc.Wouldn't give me back any of my possessions either.  And so, we messed around for years, and spent almost as much as the equity and I signed over the rights to the house and walked away. Mourned the loss of the baby pictures, the family heirlooms etc and gave it all over to God.  Relatives, friends all bashed me.  What the HELL was I thinking to give him the house while the kids and I were in a 2nd story apartment? Did I know that great great great grandma brought that over from England? I knew what I was thinking.  I wanted my life back. I realized that my sanity and my life were worth more than equity and things. Yup, it stung, but I decided I didn't want to play anymore.  I let him keep the ball and the bat and went home.

You know, the karma bus came for him 2 months later.  We lived on the top of a hill and the rains came, the farmers field on the hill in the back of our house got flooded and a wall of mud came in and destroyed the foundation. The house was cracked in 2 and condemned. All the possessions I gave up for gone really were gone.  Nothing could be done financially...since he hadn't kept up insurance... :smiley

Now who's in the apartment?  >:D

Thanks for posting Jeffree
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Jewls
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« Reply #19 on: January 18, 2008, 06:45:39 AM »

...and gave it all over to God.  Relatives, friends all bashed me.  What the HELL was I thinking to give him the house while the kids and I were in a 2nd story apartment? Did I know that great great great grandma brought that over from England? I knew what I was thinking.  I wanted my life back. I realized that my sanity and my life were worth more than equity and things. Yup, it stung, but I decided I didn't want to play anymore.  I let him keep the ball and the bat and went home.

This is where I'm at.  There are those close to me who think it's insane that he be allowed anything, then there are those who know how exhausted I am and understand.  That karma bus will be following Stinky, oh yes it will, and I will be able to sit in my place of peace and watch it run him over. 

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funefarm4
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« Reply #20 on: January 18, 2008, 07:48:28 AM »

Now you've got it!

Stinky's bought the tickets to the Karma bus alright. 

He will get his.

Jewls, life isn't all roses on this end of the computer, but you know they say that God gives you back 10 fold what you gave up and it's true in ways.  I chose to fight over what was important--which is my kids.  I gave up everything, but you know, I've gotten back all I lost and more. And, to boot, I now have a man who truly loves me by my side to help me with my burdens.

Peace to you.
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« Reply #21 on: January 18, 2008, 09:13:52 AM »

Jewls...are you in Canada?

what does the judge say at the settlement conference?  Do they give their opinion on what should be done?

Its brutal about the money...my exh does the same...can't afford this or that, can't pay me that much in support...then just bought : new house with pool, truck, snowmobile, hunting bow, gf's engagnement ring etc etc      Baffling.   As well as a contempt charge against me last year as D12 wouldn't visit, and like you, I was bring blamed.   Thankfully, he dropped that one after D told therapist about daddy's bedtime story about murder.

hang in there...sounds like a little patience and trust will bring this all to an end!
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Jeffree
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« Reply #22 on: January 18, 2008, 09:16:42 AM »

Funny thing about the Karma Bus...and this lesson has been a long time coming for me...

Even if the KB doesn't just obviously flatten our BPDs, they live in such miserable agony each and everyday that they are getting their just desserts all the time. And the best thing is that they are no longer our problem, except in a few awful exceptions for some nons here.

A big, new house? Pfffffft, like THAT's going to help. A new, flashy, younger lover? Now our ex is someonelse's problem who will probably wreak more havoc in our ex's life than they did to ours. Hidden money? THAT will be wasted in the blink of an eye. Joint custody? The kids will know where the love is coming from in short order and gravitate to the non parent.

Next stop for the Karma Bus...LoserTown.

--J
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« Reply #23 on: January 18, 2008, 09:23:56 AM »

Forensic account?  A Special Master?  Petition the court to appoint one and have him pay if he's hiding anything substantial, which you know he is.
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Jewls
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« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2008, 08:14:20 PM »

kellaroo, sometimes I wish I were in Canada, but I'm sitting in the frigid midwest.

You know what, FD, I've contemplated forensic accounting, but I'm out of money and if he is hiding some somewhere, it won't last long.  Yes, a part of me wants to continue the fight, but I'm closing in on 2 years and I'm not sure if I can handle another year of this.  My focus needs to be on the future and the kids.  Stinky has taken away my immediate financial future, but I refuse to let him take anything else from me.

Thanks for your support, everyone.
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« Reply #25 on: January 21, 2008, 07:32:02 AM »

My focus needs to be on the future and the kids.  Stinky has taken away my immediate financial future, but I refuse to let him take anything else from me.

That's a girl Jewls...
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« Reply #26 on: January 21, 2008, 12:25:57 PM »

so Jewls...is the purpose the same (in the frigid midwest wink) as it is in Canada...to see if you can settle before court?  to get advice from the judge on a probable outcome?

Just wondering...if so, what did judge say?
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Jewls
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« Reply #27 on: January 22, 2008, 09:14:58 AM »

kell, mediation and settling is strongly encouraged in my state much to the dismay of those (ME!) who are involved in high-conflict divorces.  In my case, my L has always been pro-mediation and has only recently gotten a clue that Stinky is a complete monster who is incapable of being reasonable on any level.  I wasn't aware of BPD or high-conflict divorces until months into my divorce and by then, Stinky had done quite a bit of damage financially and was doing everything he could to delay and drag things out (discovery).  I was in too deep fee-wise with my L, so I couldn't really go to a new L, I had to just continue to try and convince him to take a more aggressive route with Stinky.  He finally did, but too little too late.  Now we are all walking on eggshells waiting for Stinky to settle (p*sses me off that the ball always ends up back in his court) so we can all move forward.
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« Reply #28 on: January 22, 2008, 09:30:19 AM »

p*sses me off that the ball always ends up back in his court

I feel that emotion too from time to time. I think all of us here do. We are all waiting for the karma bus (I love that statement) to crush our Xs. Eventually the noose will tighten and they will get what they deserve...Stinky deserves to get a lot, maybe the karma bus will back up and hit his sorry ass again...Hopefully he will have directions to DA in his pocket...That's an idea..We could start a chain reaction for the Karma Bus...each fallen X could have a ticket in their pocket to be punched by the next X to be squashed...fuel for the Karma Bus would be coming from cyberspace
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« Reply #29 on: January 22, 2008, 10:03:13 AM »

I think the Karma Bus is in our neighborhood!  Son's MilkToast lawyer has seen the evaluation/recommendation and is showing a bulldog side we didn't know he had!  8)
He's ready to rock 'n' roll and give a lot less than what was recommended.  We're talkin' hard ball now!

I won't post details yet but it is looking better every day!
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« Reply #30 on: January 22, 2008, 10:08:51 AM »

Yes, I'd like to schedule a stop for the karma bus please!

SF, I hope that things keep looking up for you.

Jewls,  don't know what state you are in, but it seems that the whole court system is geared towards mediation and that they do a very bad job of dealing with or even recognizing high conflict divorces.  While "the professionals" decry those of us they laughingly refer to as frequent fliers, it can't be denied that all this conflict has a huge positive impact on their financial statements.

My ex's lawyer as a matter of fact, bought herself a huge historic home which she re-finished and also went into business for herself during our drama.  I know this because she made sure to tell everyone about her latest before the court hearing began.

It appears that the system in general gives the ball back to the one who is the most disagreeable and difficult.  It's just geared towards rewarding the hard ball sort of attitude.

I may be wrong, but that's just how I feel/what I've seen during my 8 year trip to Oz.
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« Reply #31 on: January 22, 2008, 10:09:15 AM »

I'd like to be the driver of the karma bus. >:D

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« Reply #32 on: January 22, 2008, 10:29:51 AM »

Mr. M, consider yourself hired!
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« Reply #33 on: January 22, 2008, 11:42:16 AM »

kell, mediation and settling is strongly encouraged in my state much to the dismay of those (ME!) who are involved in high-conflict divorces.  (p*sses me off that the ball always ends up back in his court) so we can all move forward.


ok, sounds like the same as up here in da Nord~!

Here the judge gives a recommendation and you can follow it   OR take it trial.

again...I am in the same position and like you, ticked off that the ball ends up in his "court"  (pun intended on "court")

Mr. M...when you are done down that way, come up here to Canada with that Karmic Bus...eh?
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« Reply #34 on: January 22, 2008, 02:28:40 PM »

I second the motion to hire Mr. M.

This thread is hot literally...I was checking out the latest post and seriously, the computer caught on fire! Sparks started flying and everything. Wow.

Using the way old laptop...

Karma bus gets it's first victim...the computer used to communicate with the ex...
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« Reply #35 on: January 22, 2008, 02:45:55 PM »

Since M is driving I'd like to ride shotgun...Just in case he needed some moral support

Would anyone like to be the camera man?..just to make sure no one had to miss out on the fun.
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« Reply #36 on: January 22, 2008, 04:22:53 PM »

Since M is driving I'd like to ride shotgun...Just in case he needed some moral support

Would anyone like to be the camera man?..just to make sure no one had to miss out on the fun.

Yeah, a cameraman like on The Amazing Race!  We could make a reality show!
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
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« Reply #37 on: January 23, 2008, 08:16:18 AM »

doc and M at the controls, I'm lovin' it!
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« Reply #38 on: January 23, 2008, 08:19:17 AM »

Hopefully there's a restroom on that bus, cos I'll be wetting myself with every smack-down along the way!

YEE-HAAAAAA

Although I'd like to decorate it, sorta like the Partridge Family bus... grin
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« Reply #39 on: January 23, 2008, 09:57:29 AM »

KARMA BUS: serving up a big dose of reality and karma...coming to your BPD neighborhood soon!


as the partridge family would say..."get happy".

Karma bus would get me happy.
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« Reply #40 on: January 23, 2008, 10:31:39 AM »

Anybody see that movie Death Race 2000?  Particpants get POINTS for smackdowns.   >:D
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« Reply #41 on: January 23, 2008, 01:37:43 PM »

Haven't seen that movie, but sounds like fun!

All has been quiet on my cell phone, my L strongly advised SW that he quit.
It's temporary, I know, but I'll take it.
Quiet, well, except for the following that I received today.
I'm sure this is lyrics to a song, I recognize them, but I can't pinpoint which song it is:

"Welcome to the Planet...Welcome to existence...Everyone's here...
Everyone's watching you now...Everybody waits for you now...
What happens next?

"I dare you to move...I dare you to lift yourself off the floor...
I dare you to move...Like today never happened...Today never happened before...

"Welcome to fallout...Welcome to resistance...The tension is here between who you are
and who you could be...Between how it is and how it should be...

"Maybe redemption has stories to tell...Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell...
Where you can run to escape from yourself...Where you gonna go...

"Where you gonna go...Salvation is here..."
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« Reply #42 on: January 23, 2008, 01:48:33 PM »

I know someone who was able to get a permanent restraining order on their xH when he sent something similar (actually a bible quote) to his former spouse.

If you don't already have an R.O., think about getting one.  That is bizarre what he sent you.  Sounds threatening to me.
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« Reply #43 on: January 23, 2008, 02:09:20 PM »

Your post just went from fun to scary in a millisecond...

Welcome back to the PD world...

I agree with OY... He's just threatened you. Take it seriously. He could be escalating especially considering upcoming court. He has used intimadation and violence in the past to control and may continue to up his antics to get his desired outcome...be careful...call your lawyer...have him request a restraining order,
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« Reply #44 on: January 23, 2008, 02:11:12 PM »

Jewls,

You need to go to the authorities with this.  This is scary stuff. 

Please watch yourself. Be careful!

Please see if you can get the cops to hold him accountable for violating your RO. 

Let me know what happens. I'm very, very concerned for you.
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« Reply #45 on: January 23, 2008, 02:13:37 PM »

I do have a R.O. which keeps him away from me and my home and we exchange the girls in the parking lot of the sheriff's department.  During the past few weeks, he has become quite persistent about having the R.O. dropped once we settle, but I absolutely refuse.  I emailed the lyrics to my L, I feel it's something that shouldn't be taken lightly.  When questioned, Stinky will laugh it off and tell everyone I overreacted (he does it all the time), but his credibility isn't too great with anyone anymore.
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« Reply #46 on: January 23, 2008, 02:21:25 PM »

Jewls,

My ex used these tactics too.  You are not over reacting.  This is serious and this is scary. 

Please keep me updated.
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« Reply #47 on: January 23, 2008, 02:25:11 PM »

Those lyrics are from "Dare you to move" by Switchfoot.

Fab
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« Reply #48 on: January 23, 2008, 02:30:47 PM »

Quote
Those lyrics are from "Dare you to move" by Switchfoot.

Even the title is ominous.  He's definitely got sociopathic traits, Jewls.
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« Reply #49 on: January 23, 2008, 03:00:08 PM »

Those lyrics are from "Dare you to move" by Switchfoot.

Thanks, I could hear the tune in my head, but couldn't place the name.

Of all the songs to choose...
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« Reply #50 on: January 23, 2008, 03:57:44 PM »

I would not recommend replying--but I've often thought(and it would be applicable in your case) of a song by Kutless. I forge the name, but one of the lines go "there's nothing you can do that will stop me from speaking the truth...nothing you can say that will change it anyway"

Stay strong girl.
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