Need Tech Help

[Think About It....]

Because phone call behavior has periodically been an issue, I'm toying with the idea of having a taping warning/permission written into the new parenting plan.  What do you guys think of that?  Haven't presented the idea to the lawyer yet. (BTW Son says days of him meeting with his lawyer alone are over, he wants us included to be sure he doesn't miss anything. 'Whether he likes it or not, I'm paying for it and that's what I want!'-technically we've been paying but it is a loan) Thinking of something along the lines of 'All phone calls have the possibility of being recorded.  Any recordings of phone calls may be used as evidence in any future evaluations or court actions.'  Some kind of permission to record default.

[safetyfirst]

Because phone call behavior has periodically been an issue, I'm toying with the idea of having a taping warning/permission written into the new parenting plan.  What do you guys think of that?  Haven't presented the idea to the lawyer yet. (BTW Son says days of him meeting with his lawyer alone are over, he wants us included to be sure he doesn't miss anything. 'Whether he likes it or not, I'm paying for it and that's what I want!'-technically we've been paying but it is a loan) Thinking of something along the lines of 'All phone calls have the possibility of being recorded.  Any recordings of phone calls may be used as evidence in any future evaluations or court actions.'  Some kind of permission to record default.

[funefarm4]

I'd present it to the lawyer safety first. Doc, sorry for the hijack answer, but maybe something in here will be helpful to you?

You can ask for anything in a court order. What may or may not fly in court? Who knows. It's been my experience over the past 8 years(at least with my judge in my state) that the courts lean towards "the least restrictive parenting environment" a phrase coined by my attorney.

In fact, I am COURT ORDERED to not tape, listen nor appoint anyone on my behalf to tape or listen to any phone call or conversation between the kids and their dad.  Basically, the court has given dad the free reign to continue the verbal abuse and PAS over the phone and because of poor legal advice given to me by my first attorney.

I got sued once because he heard my voice, in my own home, near a kid while the call was happening.  Wow.  For the record, when asked how this could happen--I said it was definitely the work of Al Quaida.  Probably did NOT give me bonus points with the judge. Then, I was sued because he was convinced that I had allowed my family to listen in on his calls while I was on my honeymoon.  OK, I'm on my HONEYMOON and I really am thinking about calling my family to ask them to listen in on conversations with you and the kids? As if.

This came up because basically, I was recording the calls in the way beginning. I started out much like many on this board--thinking it would help and protect my kids.  Firstly, without his knowledge(my OLD lawyer told me I could legally do that--she was wrong and I got slammed in court.) then with his knowledge and also using recordings off the answering machine. 

Again, I am very jaded and I've gotten the raw deal, but in my experience(I had transcripts etc, tapes) the courts really didn't care or didn't want to spend precious time going thru transcripts etc.

Then, his side petitioned and got the incredible thing I now have where I can't do all this stuff...I'm not so sure that I'd advise to actually offer the fact that you'll be monitoring this stuff...

Your lawyer will be able to advise you as the the "leanings of the court" in your area and how your particular judge views this.

[doc101]

Hey guys...

I bought a radioshack DV telephone recorder.

Problems:

1 not digitally signed by microsoft. Had to override the installation manually.
2 the computer did not recognize the recorder when it was attached to the USB...Had to intall the recorder every time

3 once I got the computer to recognize the recorder I was able to download the files from the recorder to the computer...but the program did not store the files automatically...uploading new files simply replaced the old...lost forever...Renaming the files also caused them to be deleted

I'll be taking the system back.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? The focus of this board is about understanding the child, their needs, and supporting them in an intelligent and non self-sacrificing way. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are divorced, please go to Rebuilding our Life. If your topic is mostly about legal/custody issues, please go to Family law, Divorce, and Custody. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are still married, please go to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner. If you need help moving a thread, please contact a moderator. We are glad to help. :)

[funefarm4]

All that work...

Wishing you better luck with the next model.

[Her Mama]

Here's a link for the laws concerning telephone recording:

http://www.callcorder.com/phone-recording-law-america.htm

[Jewls]

Thanks for the link, KSM.  I learned that my state is a 1-party state which will prove useful, I'm sure. 

doc, good luck, hope you find the right device.

[the end]

These were recomended by my atty all are hand held digital with upload/cd storage capability. I dont know about the phone connected models.
The reviews are also helpful.


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000OVPB9K/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I1NDIV8OZFZALH&colid=1N0NXFH9NR3QX

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000N288Z4/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=IYY6H1415KPWZ&colid=1N0NXFH9NR3QX

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000I3C6CE/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=IDFOWHPR2IBTX&colid=1N0NXFH9NR3QX

[the end]

did a quick search at amazon, this may be a useful device.

http://www.amazon.com/review/product/B000GU88CQ/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?%5Fencoding=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Good luck in your quest

[doc101]

Update on phone conversations:

I ended up going with an Olympus Digital Recorder...It's a pretty cool set up...It plugs directly into the USB port on the computer. It's digitally signed so windows opens it without any trouble. Files are easily emailed.

The recording of the phone calls is fairly easy as well. Radioshack makes a device that plugs into the phone line and the microphone port of the recorder. The recordings are excellent.

Legality:

In my state it is legal to record any conversation you are apart of...Hense I can record anything DA and I discuss...Which is nothing, we are very LC...basically NC. I start the recording, answer the phone and then hand it off to S1. This is where it gets tricky... not legal to get into court...

Where it's been helpful...Sent the recordings to my son's therapist and have feedback from her. I have also sent the recordings to the GAL...Which has also been very helpful...Her stance is that the recordings are of her clients (the kids)...and she wants them.

[sonnyboy]

Exactly, Doc.  The admissibility of the tapes in court is one thing, and the way  that  they can be used to inform the GAL, therapist and other decision-makers is another. 

Did you ever read "Bonfire of the Vanities"?  There's a great example of tape recordings being used as bargaining tools.

[the end]

awesome, sounds like the proper tool for the proper people.
Thanks for the update.

[doc101]

Did you ever read "Bonfire of the Vanities"?  There's a great example of tape recordings being used as bargaining tools.

Haven't read it...

You are right though, tools are a necissity, in everything. My son is talked to like a baby on the phone and it makes me sick to answer the phone and hear those converations, seeing how he reacts to them. There is no way to descibe it to anyone...but let them hear it for themselves...totally different animal.

[the end]

There is no way to descibe it to anyone...but let them hear it for themselves...totally different animal.

Thats the truth, last night I had a hard time getting DD5 to settle down, she was clinghy and weepy and I sang her a little song I made up about how mommy loves you to the tune of Jesus Loves Me, she broke down sobbing about how she misses me (last week I visited her class to help with the pie making for the fundraiser and she literally spent the whole time staring at my face and smiling...   broke my heart)

This week is 'our' week last week was his.

I asked her how she can miss me when we are together, she said at school she misses me and she cant use the phone, I said yes but you know we are here tonite, then she said daddy wont let her call, says she dosent need to talk to me during his time., that sent her into fits sobbing.

 I told her I tried to call her but for some reason daddys phone is never answered. She just nodded. I asked if she wanted to call her dad sometimes she siad yes but because daddy says no she thinks I'll say no too. I told her she had never asked, she agreed.
I told her that if she would like we will call her dad, she nodded ( I know he has my calls blocked at least will refuse the caller ID, and refuses to have voicemail on the house phone. so she can call and I'm 99.5% sure he will not answer, he flat refuses to call here ever).

I believe it is fully the parents/adult responsibility to initiate contact, only a PD will demnad the child call them. Then blame them for not calling...dick.

I get your comment as to what it does to the kids, He is such a SOB.
Who does that to a little kid?

I'm so happy for you you have this resouce now.

[safetyfirst]

Son recorded the calls his ex made to their son, without her knowledge, at the request of the evaluator because the versions of the calls he was getting from the two of them were so discrepant.  They showed him clearly who was truthful and who was not .  They cannot be used in court.  She has said a few times during her conversations with the child, "I'm glad I'm recording this".  Wondering if she can use her recordings in court?  She'd be stupid to do so as they clearly show her putting words into the child's mouth and manipulating the conversation.  I strongly feel he should be recording them again.  I believe we are in a 2 party notification state.  Not sure of the state she is currently residing in.  His lawyer is somewhat reluctant to approve recording.  If he convinced his lawyer, would a letter sent from his attorney to her attorney notifying that all future calls will be recorded and could be entered into evidence, be considered proper notification?  Would son need to first send a letter directly to her (certified, receipt) and then have his lawyer forward a copy to her lawyer?

[doc101]

.  If he convinced his lawyer, would a letter sent from his attorney to her attorney notifying that all future calls will be recorded and could be entered into evidence, be considered proper notification?  Would son need to first send a letter directly to her (certified, receipt) and then have his lawyer forward a copy to her lawyer?

My simplistic view on this...A letter wouldn't matter. It would only serve as giving notice, not permission. If at anypoint in a conversation that is being taped with mutual consent a party decides to revoke permission it only needs to be stated. That being said each individual conversation requires seperate permission to be admissable. My own take...I'll continue to record, take my chances, and play the recordings to anyone with decision making capability if they'll listen.