Here are some good threads explaining JADE: http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=205038.msg12280854#msg12280854http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=148483.0
Learning SET is indeed a good communcation technique to use on anybody. When people are verbally fighting, it's likely that the JADEing is mutual. With a pwBPD, the "non" partner has the overall emotional stability to reduce conflict, though it's understandable that this can be difficult.
With practice, it becomes easier. I try SET on a lot of people now, though I never had communication problems or conflict with anyone but my uBPDx (not counting the teen years with my BPD mom). I'm consciously incorporating validation in raising my kids.