Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 23, 2014, 04:23:27 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Moderators: DreamGirl, LettingGo14, P.F.Change, Rapt Reader
Advisors: formflier, Kwaminalivednlearned, maxen, Mutt, pessim-optimist, Turkish, Waverider
Ambassadors: Aussie JJ, caredverymuch, contradancer, free-n-clear, HealingSpirit, lever, NorthernGirl, ziggiddy
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Login Register  
bing
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Is the use of transitional objects suggestive of BPD?  (Read 3827 times)
geroldmodel
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 614


« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2008, 09:02:22 AM »

Thanx for the link Skip.

My ex surrounded herself with objects of loved-ones when she felt bad.
"Watch & wallet of her dear father, glasses of her dear grandfather."

Although they are not exactly like "the teddy bear" to replace the mother-bond,
I always saw them as the objects to replace the father-bond she never had
and as a way to recall possitive feelings from her childhood...
Logged



elphaba
Emeritus
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3948

No good deed goes unpunished....


WWW
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2008, 09:59:58 AM »

Funny...the last time DB ended up in a psych ward, he called begging for someone to bring his guitar...weeping...it was his version of a security blanket...and he identifies his sense of self with it.
Logged

“You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.” - Maya Angelo

JoannaK
DSA Recipient
Administrator (Retired)
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 26380



« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2008, 01:53:08 PM »

This brought up a memory for me:  When I was in the teacher training program, we spent three weeks each of three summers in a special summer session, far away from family.  The first year I went, my son was 5, and I was really sad about the three-week separation.  Right as I was packing to go, my son came into my room and brought me one of his teddy bears.. not his best teddy bear, but his best teddy's best "friend".  He packed it in my suitcase so that I wouldn't be lonely. 

So how does this relate to bpd?  Well, as an emotionally mature, healthy person, I didn't need a transitional object..  but my young son did need transitional objects, and he assumed that I needed one also.  So the need for transitional objects would make sense for those who are emotionally immature, with the emotional make-up of someone much younger.

(I did take that teddy out of my suitcase and put it on my bed when I made my bed every morning.  When I talked to my son on the phone, he wanted to know how the teddy was.)
Logged



GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT

This board is intended for general questions about BPD and other personality disorders, trait definitions, and related therapies and diagnostics. Topics should be formatted as a question.

Please do not host topics related to the specific pwBPD in your life - those discussions should be hosted on an appropraite [L1] - [L4] board.

You will find indepth information provided by our senior members in our workshop board discussions (click here).

schwing
Distinguished Member
Emeritus
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3257



WWW
« Reply #13 on: June 24, 2008, 02:57:06 PM »


Quote
In human childhood development, a transitional object is something, usually a physical object, which takes the place of the mother-child bond. Common examples include dolls, teddy bears or blankets.


FROM WIKI
[/quote]

Gee, that puts into perspective my experience of having a security blanket when I was a toddler.  Momster likes to bring this up from time to time that I carried it with me "everywhere," even to the point that it was in tattered rags.  That blanket must have been my surrogate mother.  I now seriously wonder if she was jealous of it and may have facilitated its "retirement."  She almost certainly tried to shame me for relying on it (does to this day).

On the other hand, I don't recall my exuBPDgf ever carrying around ... wait a minute... I had forgotten about this up to this point...  she DID have some trinkets from different people.  I remember a small cabinet of gifts from previous boyfriends, and perhaps family members.  Gosh, I somewhat half-remember having some conversation of why she didn't keep my gifts there...

Something I do remember for certain, I now consider this a "flea," but after she dumped me,  I had some of her things in my possession (which, lol, included a blanket) which I didn't return when I had the opportunity.  I kept them around for some time until I finally "buried" them (think viking's funeral).  Since my exuBPDgf, I hadn't had the need to keep any mementos with other exgfs;  I've found my memories (and in some cases the ongoing rapport) quite sufficiently sentimental.  But with my exuBPDgf, I remember feeling like those things (transitional objects?) were the only things that I had left as evidence of my relationship with her, since she had no longer provided any kind of validation that was consistent with my memory. 

Thanks for the info Skip and Geroldmodel.

Schwing
Logged

geroldmodel
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 614


« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2008, 07:02:52 AM »

Right as I was packing to go, my son came into my room and brought me one of his teddy bears.. not his best teddy bear, but his best teddy's best "friend".  He packed it in my suitcase so that I wouldn't be lonely. 
he assumed that I needed one also...
Projection!  grin
Sweet.

Quote
Gee, that puts into perspective my experience of having a security blanket when I was a toddler.  Momster likes to bring this up from time to time that I carried it with me "everywhere," even to the point that it was in tattered rags.  That blanket must have been my surrogate mother.  I now seriously wonder if she was jealous of it and may have facilitated its "retirement."  She almost certainly tried to shame me for relying on it (does to this day).
Schwing, this sounds very NORMAL to me... how old were you when your mother "retired" your transitional object?

I still have my "transitional object" in a box on the attic somewhere... a blanket from my crib.
My mom kept it safe, when the blanket retired  smiley
Logged

schwing
Distinguished Member
Emeritus
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3257



WWW
« Reply #15 on: June 25, 2008, 01:51:30 PM »

She must have thrown it out when I was four or five.  Certainly before I attended preschool or kindergarden.  It would have embarrassed her if I was observed by teachers with it. 
Logged

Links and Information
Tools
Validation
Ending Cycle of Conflict
Triggering and Wisemind
Values and Boundaries
Becoming more empathetic?
On-Line CBT Program
>> More Tools

Video
What is BPD - Family
What is BPD - Romantic
What is BPD - Child
End the Cycle of Conflict
Validation Skills
Empathy Skills
Parental Alienation
Dialectal Dilemma (audio)


Book Reviews
Endorsed Books
Other Staff Reviews
Member Reviews
Articles - New
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Diagnosis of BPD
Treatment of BPD
Series: My Child
Series: My Significant Other
Series: My Parent/Sibling
Series: My Failing Romance

Articles - Archive
Symptoms of BPD
A Clinical Perspective
Supporting a Loved One
Helping Him/Her Seek Treatment
Treatment of BPD
Leaving a Partner
Depression
Codependency
Sexual Addiction
Healthy Relationships

Content - Messageboard
Top 50 Questions
Top Workshops
About Us
The Mission
Professional Endorsements
2,000 Member Testimonials
Policy and Disclaimers
Blog


Messageboard
Directory
Guidelines
Appeal Moderation
Help-Technical
Manual

Donations
Become a Sponsor
Your Account

Other
Domestic Violence Crisis
Suicidal Ideation

EMERGENCY
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.10 | SMF © 2006-2010, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!