KaiserSoce
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« on: April 08, 2008, 07:18:17 PM » |
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Hi Gang: I came across this today. I'd actually forgotten about this girl, as I'm sure many of us probably had. She made a really big splash into the public spotlight a few years back when she was arrested for having sex with one of her underage students. A year after leaving my BPD relationship, it was almost chilling for me to watch this. Chilling because of the familiarity. This girl says things that are completely consistent with a diagnosis of BPD/NPD (mainly, not taking any responsibility and the air of arrogant privilege), she makes facial expressions that I remember seeing on a regular basis from my BPD, she projects the reasons for her bad behavior on others, and so on and so forth. If you watch all 4 sections of the interview (watch the video link on the right hand side) you'll see that she's also given a diagnosis of BiPolar - the most common mis-diagnosis for BPD. Now, I know that I'm not a psychiatrist and in no position to make a diagnosis other than through my own experience, but I can't help but develop my own intuitions about this woman based on my own experience and the uncanny similarity between this girl and my exBPDgf. In any event - watch this and tell me what your opinions are. I'm very curious what you folks here on the board think. Does watching this girl bring back any memories for you? Interview with Debra Lafave (Video) |
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flamingo13
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« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2008, 01:02:34 AM » |
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THAT was painful to watch. She had so many behavioural mechanisms going on it bothered me much. I will probably lose my lunch and have nightmares all night.
Me thinks we have a 'winner'... 'poster child' if you will.
I hope her xH and new soulmate find their way here.
Thanks for the memories, KaiserSoce! :P 8)
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mtn
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« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2008, 08:14:27 AM » |
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A little too hard to watch...she looks like my ex 10 years younger...without the ravages of alcohol and cigarettes and children. Even her childhood parallels my ex's. man.
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dramacat
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« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2008, 10:21:41 AM » |
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wow - that was positively eerie!
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mzb
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« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2008, 10:26:18 AM » |
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Evil, evil, evil, evil. This women makes me want to vomit!  My husband was seduced by a 30 year old women when he was 12. She told him she was making him a man. He didn't even know that it was considered CHILD MOLESTATION! It screwed him up big time. Debra Lefave may have BPD but to me she's pure evil. She's creepy and ugly. |
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shane
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« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2008, 10:39:05 AM » |
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I watched only one of the video clips...and I could barely stomach that.
I hope she doesn't have children of her own, I hate to think of what she would do to them!
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JoannaK
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« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2008, 11:50:06 AM » |
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This brings up so much in the Bipolar/Borderline distinction.
In the interview she vascillates between accepting some kind of responsibility for the situation and regarding herself as a victim.
What is interesting is that the exhusband's friends tried to warn him about marrying her... they saw something, but he didn't listen. And now she's got some other guy that she is engaged to! I'm sure he feels she was wronged (or changed) and he is protecting her.
I'm not sure what to say about the latest arrest.. she works with the 16 year old.. I don't know how you can work with someone without talking to them, but you can maintain a "just business" attitude, and she apparently didn't do that. But I'm sure she presented herself as a victim in that situation also.
Something about her just screams "borderline" vs. bipolar. That wide-eyed innocence, the baby voice, the whole "I'm a victim" demeanor.
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shawn
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« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2008, 04:00:06 PM » |
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I completely agree with your personal diagnosis. My ex-husband and my son have the exact same behaviors and attitude. They both have done horrible things and blame, blame, blame. Nothing and I do mean NOTHING is ever their fault and there is no compassion for others they hurt- none. Debra is exactly the same.
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shane
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« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2008, 04:37:45 PM » |
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borderline, narcissistic, histrionic...all three came to mind
is she considered to be a pedophile? or was the boy in question not young enough for her to be charged as such?
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JoannaK
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« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2008, 11:25:32 AM » |
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She is a registered sex offender due to his age. As was noted in the interviews, if she were a male teacher and the student a 14 year old female, the teacher would have been locked up for years.
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CrunkChipmunk
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« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2008, 03:23:37 PM » |
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Debrah in my opinion was not a BPD or a bipolar but something extremely close and in the Cluster B Personality Disorders along with BPD and that something is a Histrionic Personality Disordered woman.
Think BPD but without the rage or self injury and quite a bit more high functioning.
Same destructive relationship patterns though.
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mzb
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« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2008, 04:20:04 PM » |
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Can anyone post a link to the video? Thanks
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csandra
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« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2008, 04:26:34 PM » |
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Interview with Debra Lafave (Video)
Here it is, I found it in a previous post.
What was so eery was that she seemed so content with her life the way that it is. It was almost as if she was talking of someone else, rather than herself.
When my uNPDxh referred to anything that he ever did wrong, he would always speak in the third person.
Darn, the link didn't transfer. Look at earlier post , on first page.
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mzb
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« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2008, 06:36:24 PM » |
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Ok, it's there. Thanks csandra.  |
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salt
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« Reply #17 on: April 13, 2008, 09:23:29 PM » |
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Two things really jumped out at me:
She says: "I committed a sex offence, but I am not a sexual offender" HUH? Talk about not fully accepting responsibility.
The other, regarding her victim;"I don't think of him at all"
I agree that she is likely BPD. It was hard to watch.
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bassman82
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« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2008, 03:49:59 AM » |
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wow-yeah can see what you mean. She should totally be in jail; so many contradictions I liked how the reporter kept pointing them out. Yep kept trying to make herself the victim, I think the end is just sad I was a good kind hearted person for 23 years and nothing was wrong (besides the episodes of mania, supposedly being raped, trying to kill herself twice, sounds like everything was just peachy before).
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JoannaK
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« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2008, 09:26:29 AM » |
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Debrah in my opinion was not a BPD or a bipolar but something extremely close and in the Cluster B Personality Disorders along with BPD and that something is a Histrionic Personality Disordered woman.
Think BPD but without the rage or self injury and quite a bit more high functioning.
Same destructive relationship patterns though.
Well... she had tried to kill herself when she was younger, and there is something very self-destructive about having sex with an underaged student when you are a teacher... She claimed things were going so well between her and the h, supposedly her career was going well, but she had to do something that would blow the marriage and the career apart. As to the raging, well, we really don't know. Her husband didn't mention any rages, but who knows what it was like to live with her. Also, some with bpd don't rage.. they just engage in unacceptable behaviors and/or get into waif/hermit modes. "Waif" types do not necessarily rage. I've always thought that trying to distinguish among the Cluster B's over someone's lifetime is difficult anyway. |
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