the power of NO

[Think About It...]

I am heading in the right direction as we went to court and in 90 days it will be final=this has such a strong bearing on the fact she just can't change things without some repercussions.
She continues with her silent treatment and infantile behavior when things do not go her way,as I had to change my whole schedule around last week as she bailed on me at the last minute,I did not complain I just kept going foreward! Well as luck would have it I could not help her out as I am trying to crawl out of the giant finacial hole she put us in and needed to work (even though its her week with the kids)so first she hung up on me and now she won't talk to me re other issues(this includes e-mail and phone)
The point of this story is this is no different than how things were before when we were together ,the difference being that I do not need to worry about eggshells and the sound that they make when you step on them.I have become more and more assertive in MY own behavior and am working to establish and maintain strong solid boundries.
To co-parent is impossible with this woman but to parralel parent is possible.Its hard but I just maintain good parenting when I am with the kids,I cannot stop her from letting the kids eating junk all the time,staying up till 10-12am always being late and so on.I can do things right when they are with me and thats about it.
The power of the word no is amazing,I never used it before due to the eggshells and a basic trait of everybodies happiness counts more than my own.It is hard still for me to say no but it gets easier as I realized I can't make anybody happy till I make me happy.I am wondering how the rest of you see this,does anybody share this trait and if so it seems like the lifeblood for a BPD to live off of,and worse use to manipulate parenting situations.

[izzo]

I am heading in the right direction as we went to court and in 90 days it will be final=this has such a strong bearing on the fact she just can't change things without some repercussions.
She continues with her silent treatment and infantile behavior when things do not go her way,as I had to change my whole schedule around last week as she bailed on me at the last minute,I did not complain I just kept going foreward! Well as luck would have it I could not help her out as I am trying to crawl out of the giant finacial hole she put us in and needed to work (even though its her week with the kids)so first she hung up on me and now she won't talk to me re other issues(this includes e-mail and phone)
The point of this story is this is no different than how things were before when we were together ,the difference being that I do not need to worry about eggshells and the sound that they make when you step on them.I have become more and more assertive in MY own behavior and am working to establish and maintain strong solid boundries.
To co-parent is impossible with this woman but to parralel parent is possible.Its hard but I just maintain good parenting when I am with the kids,I cannot stop her from letting the kids eating junk all the time,staying up till 10-12am always being late and so on.I can do things right when they are with me and thats about it.
The power of the word no is amazing,I never used it before due to the eggshells and a basic trait of everybodies happiness counts more than my own.It is hard still for me to say no but it gets easier as I realized I can't make anybody happy till I make me happy.I am wondering how the rest of you see this,does anybody share this trait and if so it seems like the lifeblood for a BPD to live off of,and worse use to manipulate parenting situations.