July 31, 2014, 04:38:09 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Moderators: DreamGirl, LettingGo14, P.F.Change, Rapt Reader
Advisors: an0ught, livednlearned, Mutt, pessim-optimist, Turkish, Waverider
Ambassadors: BacknthSaddle, corraline, cosmonaut, DreamFlyer99, formflier, free'n'clear, HealingSpirit, Kwamina, lever, Love is Not Enough, maxen, maxsterling, NorthernGirl, OutofEgypt, woodsposse, ziggiddy
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Login Register  
bing


GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT

This board is intended for general questions about BPD and other personality disorders, trait definitions, and related therapies and diagnostics. Topics should be formatted as a question.

Please do not host topics related to the specific pwBPD in your life - those discussions should be hosted on an appropraite [L1] - [L4] board.

You will find indepth information provided by our senior members in our workshop board discussions (click here).

Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Diagnosis/treatment for someone: How do you get someone diagnosed?  (Read 1521 times)
colonel
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 325


learning to stand all over again


« on: October 10, 2008, 03:24:49 AM »

How do you actually get someone diagnosed with a mental illness? I've only experienced that happening because my friend attempted suicide and ended up in a psychiatric ward where she was assessed, but what if there isn't a huge enough event to end up sitting in a psych ward but something just isn't right. i'm pretty familiar with bp and mental illnes by now through my friend which is why I'm asking this. Basically the more i learn the more i can see signs of mental illness in a family member. Only problem is while I'm pretty certain there is an illness there, I don't have any official diagnosis. How do i get that especially when the person thinks they are perfectly justified. I've noticed there are a number of people on here that talk about undiagnosed loved ones how do you handle that you never really know for sure. i want to know. I need a reason behind all the sht and deliberate cruelty that goes on, one that i can say okay so she has an illness that's why she does that, not excuse it but understand it and know there is a reason behind it all. I want a diagnosis so it makes sense. I've never done this before where there is no medical file that says it all in black and white, with my friend it just happened, with my family member it's only a nagging thought in my mind and a feeling that what i see and deal with isn't normal.
Logged


Auspicious
Distinguished Member
Emeritus
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 8433



« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2008, 05:29:55 AM »

Without legal problems or dramatic events, it pretty much has to be the person who wants help.

If they have symptoms that bother them, you might be able to suggest that they see their normal doctor about the symptoms. Their regular doctor might see the mental illness signs and refer them to a psychiatrist or psychologist.

There's a book you might (secretly) read called "I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help" about this topic.
Logged

Have you read the Lessons?

JoannaK
DSA Recipient
Administrator (Retired)
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 26380



« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2008, 06:18:47 AM »

Colonel, there is no way to get someone diagnosed if they aren't open to the idea.. unless they wind up in the mental health or legal system.   We have a review of the Amador book here on our site:

http://www.bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61716.0

And our Workshop on this topic:

http://www.bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=76633.0
Logged



GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT

This board is intended for general questions about BPD and other personality disorders, trait definitions, and related therapies and diagnostics. Topics should be formatted as a question.

Please do not host topics related to the specific pwBPD in your life - those discussions should be hosted on an appropraite [L1] - [L4] board.

You will find indepth information provided by our senior members in our workshop board discussions (click here).

Skip
DSA Recipient
Site Director
******
Offline Offline

Posts: 12889



WWW
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2008, 07:39:54 AM »

This is an excellent book... and it characterizes meaningful therapy as a goal (not a given)... and getting there a process.

People seek help for problems that they perceive - not the problems we perceive.  They seek solutions that make them feel better - not us.

Anything you say should be how "help" would address the problem they see and are concerned about - and the outcome should be described in terms of how they will feel better.

If you are credible, trustworthy, and they believe you have their needs first - you might get there.



Logged

K. Salters-Pedneault, Ph.D.
Professional Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 13



« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2008, 10:12:26 AM »

Hi,
Totally agree with the posters above: unless they are forced into help by the legal or medical system (because of some mental health emergency or criminal act), then it has to be the person who wants to seek help.

But, it is possible to talk to them about this and maybe put the "bug in their ear" so to speak. You have to make the decision based on your relationship with them and how you think they will hear it. If they trust you and see you as someone who cares about them, they may get angry at first but after that reaction subsides may decide that your words held a grain of truth. If they don't trust you, they will probably just get defensive and not hear anything you have to say. If this is the case, I would recommend talking to someone they do trust and maybe that person can initiate the discussion.

Good luck,
K. Salters-Pedneault, Ph.D.
About.com's Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
http://bpd.about.com
Logged
JoannaK
DSA Recipient
Administrator (Retired)
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 26380



« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2008, 11:17:56 AM »

Thanks, Kristalyn!  Another resource that might help is our Workshop on Communication techniques:  There are better and worse methods of talking to someone who has bpd or a similar disorder.  SET (Support, Empathy, and Truth) is a good start.

http://www.bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0

But, as the old adage goes, you may be able to lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.  Even if a person is required to seek mental health services due to a hospitalization or legal encounter, the person may not improve... unless he/she is ready to embrace treatment and recovery for him or herself... not because someone tells him/her that he/she must "recover".
Logged

another_guyD
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 666



« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2008, 11:29:56 AM »

Question?

  In the case of a PD, if a person is "forced" into help via legal or emergency,
does that necessarily mean that it will help the person? For a PD it seems that
the individual in question is less likely to be consistent, honest or even receptive to
treatment if they are forced...


colonel:
  The diagnosis is really not that useful in itself (I have found this out personally) legally or clinically.
If a person looking for help and actually wants to change is much more beneficial to them.

~AgD
Logged
Matt
Distinguished Member
Emeritus
**
Online Online

Gender: Male
Posts: 14985



WWW
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2008, 02:57:37 PM »

Here's an example - not at all unique as many other members here can attest:

My ex has exhibited BPD symptoms for decades.  She abused her first child, and he now, as an adult, suffers serious consequences from that, including very poor self-esteem and addiction.  She abused every man in her life, including me, and drove us all off.  She has been to jail and in the hospital because of her behavior.  A psychologist who did our custody evaluation gave us the MMPI-2 test, and the results went into his report, which stated that she has serious psychological problems and should get psychotherapy.  That became part of the court order when we were divorced.

But through it all she maintains there is nothing wrong with her - she doesn't have BPD or any other problem - it's all someone else's fault (mostly mine) - and the court order isn't binding.  She has seen a counselor a few times, but I assume she hasn't told the counselor the whole truth about her behavior.  No psychotherapy.

I think many other members can tell you the same thing:  Until someone acknowledges that they have a problem and need help, trying to force them to accept help is probably a waste of time or worse.

Matt
Logged

jayvee
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 315


« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2008, 05:47:29 PM »

Most BPDs are not ever going to admit they have any problems. It is always the other person's fault. The best I have to say is help yourself first. If you take care of yourself and work on understanding the BPDs behavior for what it is - mental illness - then that may be as good as it gets.   
Logged
colonel
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 325


learning to stand all over again


« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2008, 03:00:31 AM »

Thanks for your replies, I'll look into getting a copy of that book. It's just so frustrating not being able to get them to see there is something wrong. The self doubt that maybe they're the normal ones and I'm crazy is hard to get around without an actual diagnosis. I want the diagnosis more for my own sanity, so that there is proof that their behaviour isn't normal and I'm really not satan's spawn like they try to convince me. I guess I want it for validation. Obviously i want her to get help and the chaos to stop as well. So very frustrating!
Logged
Links and Information
Tools
Validation
Ending Cycle of Conflict
Triggering and Wisemind
Values and Boundaries
Becoming more empathetic?
On-Line CBT Program
>> More Tools

Video
What is BPD - Family
What is BPD - Romantic
What is BPD - Child
End the Cycle of Conflict
Validation Skills
Empathy Skills
Parental Alienation
Dialectal Dilemma (audio)


Book Reviews
Endorsed Books
Other Staff Reviews
Member Reviews
Articles - New
Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde
Diagnosis of BPD
Treatment of BPD
Series: My Child
Series: My Significant Other
Series: My Parent/Sibling
Series: My Failing Romance

Articles - Archive
Symptoms of BPD
A Clinical Perspective
Supporting a Loved One
Helping Him/Her Seek Treatment
Treatment of BPD
Leaving a Partner
Depression
Codependency
Sexual Addiction
Healthy Relationships

Content - Messageboard
Top 50 Questions
Top Workshops
About Us
The Mission
Professional Endorsements
2,000 Member Testimonials
Policy and Disclaimers
Blog


Messageboard
Directory
Guidelines
Appeal Moderation
Help-Technical
Manual

Donations
Become a Sponsor
Your Account

Other
Domestic Violence Crisis
Suicidal Ideation

EMERGENCY
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.10 | SMF © 2006-2010, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!