How to Live in the Moment

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[elphaba]

This was the wiki-how of the day...thought it might be useful and perhaps others can give tips of how they live in the moment.
When we have spent so much time focussing on the BPD in our lives and hopefully now focussing on our recovery and moving on, sometimes we lose sight of just simply enjoying life, the simple things....

Living in the moment is all about living like there's no tomorrow. It takes practice but in the end, you'll lead a fuller life. To do this you must realize beauty in every moment, and in everyday activities. This is your life, now live!


Steps

Take notice of the world around you. No matter what you're doing, try to find something beautiful around you. Maybe on your way to work or school, you go over a beautiful bridge, or you get a view of the sunrise behind the city buildings. Realizing these small things can bring life and happiness even to the most boring or routine days. Be thankful for those little things.
 
Focus on whatever you're doing. Even if you're just walking, or wiping the counter, or shuffling cards - how does it feel? There's probably some kind of commentary spinning through your mind, and it probably has to do with something other than what you're doing. Let those thoughts go and focus on what is (not what was, or what could be). In Buddhism, this is referred to as mindfulness. Pay attention to your senses - touch, sight, smell, sound, and taste. Pretend it's the very last time you'll ever experience whatever you're experiencing. Have you ever been so engrossed in something that it seemed like the rest of the world just disappeared? Living in the moment is about creating that state of mind at any time. Slow down, and try to savor the present.

Smile when you wake up. You can set the tone of appreciation and awareness for the next 24 hours by simply waking up and smiling.

[1] Don't wake up with a groan and a smash of your alarm clock. There's scientific proof that the expressions that you make with your face can actually influence how you feel.

[2] In particular, true happiness is most closely tied to a Duchenne smile which involves smiling with your eyes, as well as your mouth.

[3] Commit random, spontaneous acts of kindness. Whether it's donating 1 dollar to a fund at the pharmacy, picking up litter, or helping victims of natural disasters, keep alert in every moment of your day for some way in which you can make the world a better place. Even the smallest thing, like complimenting someone, can bring joy. It's the most spontaneous and unexpected acts of kindness that produce the greatest impact, and you can't be sensitive to those kinds of opportunities unless you're living in the moment.

Minimize activities that dull your awareness of the moment. What are you doing that tempts your mind to run away from the present? For most people, watching television puts you in a passive state of mind, and time slips right by. Daydreaming and getting lost in a good movie or book isn't bad, but it's not living in the moment because it places your concentration on something that isn't right here, right now; it's a form of escapism. Don't zone out; zone in. Do things that are active, and that encourage you to look around and engage the world in that moment. Gardening, playing a game, knitting, and playing an instrument are all activities that lend themselves to mindfulness. So get off the computer after reading this article!



Tips
Play with kids! Children don't worry about the future; they play and enjoy every moment for what it is. They haven't yet learned to think ahead, or mull over the past, so take the opportunity to learn from them. - This WORKS...I know for me coming home and spending just a few minutes with my little grandbaby can completely change my attitude.

Forgive. Many of us carry grudges with us that haunt us, and those grudges also prevent us from opening our hearts to others because we're scared of getting hurt again.

Watch your breath, by noticing your breathing pattern your mind naturally quiets and pays more attention to the present moment.



Warnings Living in the moment doesn't mean you shouldn't care about the future, or do reckless, irresponsible things. It means that when you make a choice to do something, you focus on actually doing it, rather than letting your mind dwell on the future (or past).

Do not let living in the moment be offensive, rude, uncaring, intrusive, or inconsiderate of others while focusing on living for yourself

[AXA]

This is a constructive post!

Wish there was an entire book on this topic in details.


Its actually proven that even when we "Fake" a smile, our brain chemistry changes; more happy!

[PDQuick]

You know its posts like this one that are the reason I just love me some Elphie. Thanks for everything you do!

[kate30]

Wonderful suggestions! I've always utlized them in my life and it does make a world of difference. I think it's the only reason I'm still sane!

[elphaba]

Here are some more ways you can enjoy the moment...

Breathe
Practice this ancient yoga tradition: Breathe in four counts, hold for seven counts, out for eight counts, resting the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth on the ridge behind your teeth. Repeat four times.

Visualization
Take a mental vacation. Invite an image of a relaxing and safe place. The key is not just to think about this place, but to "put" yourself there. This may be a place that you've visited or have never even seen. When you're "in" that place, notice details—the temperature, the sounds, the smells—and take note of how you feel.


TAKE A BUBBLE BATH
Play some soft music. Relax and feel the warmth of the water. Just think of how you are enjoying the moment.

DRIVE A DIFFERENT ROUTE TO WORK
Get off the highway, and take the city streets to work. As you drive, notice the trees and houses as you pass through different neighborhoods. Going a different way will also help you concentrate on your surroundings.

EAT A GOURMET MEAL AT A FANCY RESTAURANT
Set aside money for your special dinner so that you won't feel guilty about spending the money. You will experience living in the moment as you enjoy the total experience of the atmosphere, the service, the people you are with, and the delicious food.

DANCE TO YOUR FAVORITE MUSIC
You will become immersed in the music as your body moves to it, and you will begin to feel vibrant and alive.

PLAY CARD GAMES
When you play games such as bridge or poker, you have to concentrate or you risk losing the game.

ENJOY A CREATIVE HOBBY
Painting, drawing, woodwork, or crafts will absorb all your attention as you focus on your creation.

TAKE A VACATION
Vacations are rejuvenating and energizing because you are physically away from the day-to-day cares of living and totally immersed in sight seeing or other vacation activities.

LOOK AT THE FUNNY SIDE OF LIFE
Notice how people who are always preoccupied with worry, resentment or other things don't usually have a sense of humor. Having a sense of humor requires living in the moment because you have to look all around for the funny things that are happening.

KEEP A JOURNAL
At the end of each day, write about the moments when you were totally present. Every week review your journal. Doing this, will encourage you to concentrate on what you are doing. Eventually, living in the moment will become a habit that will add happiness, enthusiasm, and vitality to your days.

“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.”
H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946)

[wannabhappy]

Elphaba
this is great, I started reading about this exact topic just a month a go. And everysince it has helped me to get rid of a lot of anxiety and also gave me the opportunity to really observe my own behavior/thoughts while trying to be non judgmental. It also got me to connect on a deeper level with my best friends while having chats or diners with them.

For those who are interested and want to take this deeper and in a more spiritual way I can very much recommend the book I am reading now. It is called practicing the power of now by Eckhart Tolle. It provides very clear and concrete exercises and meditations.

 

[elphaba]

I may check out that book...thanks for the suggestion.

Stressing about things gets us nowhere, it will not change the outcome...so, limiting how much we stress about things can only make life better....

Would love to hear more suggestions/ideas from people on this..................

[AXA]

The Power of Now and New Earth are both wonderful books by Eckhart Toll.

[LEO]

 In the midst of the Chaos and racing thoughts I came to the conclusion I wasn't going to solve all those problems today?
 I got to a point where I don't have too today,put it on the back burner.
There are decisions and things that cant wait but most of the brain traffic could be put away.
 Being good to ones self and allowing time to renew old interest, hobbies,friends and developing new ones.
Like many here the present economy has become My main problem without solving those issues all other problems have to wait the up side of it is I devote less brain space to xbpd/npdw. 

[Christy2]

Elpha - so glad you started this because it is SO important. 

In fact, it fits perfectly with where I am at with my own journey right now.  After 20 years with a BPD who currently has his rages under control, but not much else - after reading who knows how many relationship books, articles on marriage, carefully giving thought to every word to see if I could somehow manage/make things better - I just decided to be content with where things are for the time being.  Broken, but not unbearable.  And instead of focusing all my energy on a "project" that - until the other project partner takes a more active interest, can only offer very limited returns anyway - to focus my energy on projects, on goals, on activities etc that have the potential of much more rewarding returns. To reclaim my life, reclaim my moments. My attitude since making this decision has been so much brighter, I wish I could give all the newbies a dose of it! 

[qkslvrgirl]

Christy2: I just decided to be content with where things are for the time being.  Broken, but not unbearable.  And instead of focusing all my energy on a "project" that - until the other project partner takes a more active interest, can only offer very limited returns anyway - to focus my energy on projects, on goals, on activities etc that have the potential of much more rewarding returns. To reclaim my life, reclaim my moments. My attitude since making this decision has been so much brighter

This thread has been a blessing - to sooth a shattered soul and reclaim my life moments...to live above the circumstances, not under them!

Thanks!

Qkslvrgirl

[Peace4us]

There is a great way to wake up that illuminates the day better than coffee.

Choose

1. Good God it's morning already  OR

2. God morning God I am ready.

Each day is a gift of 24 hours in which you get to choose entirely how to spend them.  By investing in your future, your mind, your health, your livelyhood. You don't just go to a job, you go to an opportunity to trade your skills for pay that enables your life as you want it.

You can do nothing to change yesterday ts now part of the past, you can do nothing about tomorrow its not here yet. The moment you are in is the one that you can cause effect on. The effect you cause is in complete harmony with the thoughts you place into your mind. Like tea it brews exactly what you put into it.

Thanks Elph for an awesome reminder.
Peace4us

[oneflewover]

I love me some elphie too!   

Smiling in the morning however is pushing it for me!  LOL!

I love my mornings really, they are comical.  My daughter is the same way I am in the mornings.  We talk very little, exchange for little, have a burrowed and frown look about us (okay grumpy almost), and --we scramble to get out the door.

But I will work on smiling while I do this from here on out!

Thanks Elph!  Your little morsels of sweet wisdom are always the best! 

[Aurora]

To all--

This post is a great help. Thanks for all the great comments.

I've made the decision to find some good, some beauty, in today, and to enjoy this day, come what may.

 

Aurora

[PDQuick]

I believe that positivity is a habit. Get into it, the water is so warm.

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