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Think About It.... Letting go of the EX is sometimes extremely difficult if the EX is totally focused on destroying you and keeping you away from your children. You need to learn tactical ways to end the interaction, end the reactions to the EX that keep them going after you. Learning to redirect your energy toward your children is much more fun and rewarding. ~ Deena Stacer, Ph.D.
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Author Topic: uBPDexW of my H now making trouble at my daughters school  (Read 215 times)
Snowy64
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« on: November 27, 2008, 12:35:01 AM »

When does it ever stop...

2 years ago my SS now 16 was failing and floudering at school. Mixing with undesirables , truanting, not passing his grades. And this child id very bright.
My H spoke with him and together they decided to change him to a better school and repeat the year. My H spoke with uBPDexW who said I don,t care what school he goes to as long as I don,t have to pay!Such a caring mother.
I enrolled him as my D was already at said school and I could pull a few strings. It is a difficult school to get into and enrolling with his step siblings gave him priority and also as we were paying the fees ( over and above child support) it gave us a sibling discount.
SS goes ahead in leaps and bounds...tops Maths, science, and his self esteem booms...What does his mum do...freaks out because she didn,t instigate same. Also same year SS gets saturday job at hardware in our neighbourhood. Loves his job and a bit of cash..More self esteem boosting
What now ...she encourages abscences from school...6 weeks in 1 year...on every alternate Saturday he starts not going to work...On Mum,s weekend...So now he has got the sack, his grades are poor, He may not get his year 10 certificate...So he will need his Mummy...Self esteem going down ,self respect going down,  now NC to Dad...she has made up some story, who knows what but he won,t come here...
So she starts making herself known at the school.. Seeing the councillor, claiming SS abscences due to stress by father. Now I call school recently to ask about the 2 children who start high school next year...Very cold reception by staff...something I have never recieved in 11 years of being involved in said school...
One could only imagine what bullsht she has been telling them...so now I am going to see the principal tomorrow. ..I am not going to let this btch interfere with my relationship with the school. She is amazing  what poison she spreads.
While I have been angry about stuff in the past this time its impacting on my children directly. So now I am really mad angry
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MathCoreChick
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« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2008, 12:44:59 AM »

i hope your principal and staff have enough sense and knows you and  your daughter well enough to not let one woman have so much power over their common sense.


did you discussed any of your ss's history with any of his teachers before this all happened?

i hope your meeting is productive and the truth about the ex comes out.
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Snowy64
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« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2008, 01:51:58 AM »

She is incredibly convincing...She tells them my H is trying to pass me off as the boys mother...I mean really , i have 3 childeen of my own , I just happened to fall in love with a man who has 2 boys.
The school seem intimidated and fearfull. When i spoke to them today to make an appointment it was like I was making a bomb threat. They did not want to give me an appointment. They palmed me to a teacher . The secretary wanted to know what it was about. i told her it was not something I wished to discuss with anyone other than the principal.
EventuallyI made enough noise and they booked an appointment. I am amazed as the school knows me...I am a volunteer on many levels and have alwys had a positive involvement...but she is a convincing liar, so lets see what tomorrow brings!
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GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?

The focus of this board is about understanding the child, their needs, and supporting them in an intelligent and non self-sacrificing way.

If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are divorced, please go to Rebuilding our Life. If your topic is mostly about legal/custody issues, please go to Family law, Divorce, and Custody. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are still married, please go to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner. If you need help moving a thread, please contact a moderator. We are glad to help. :)

Snowy64
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« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2008, 05:22:59 PM »

The Principal has rung in sick...
Coincidence? Who knows anymore. Anyway I have had to rescedule for Monday so will have to dwell on it over the weekend!
Truly sometimes I can think maybe its me. Life that has any hint of involvement with her is so cloudy and chaotic...
It feels like it will never be over.It feels like its absorbing our life...well it has been with all this court action pending .
I cannot wait till we get to Febuary and my H gets his day in court...We have so much proof of her lying and deception and psychological abuse to those boys.
But in the meantime its all so consuming and exhausting...Looking forward to some leave over Christmas , although whenever its holiday period she does something to upset things. She is so predictable.
Every Christmas we have some episode...Abusive phone calls, not letting the children attend any family functions ...she is NC with her family.  She has no friends and the last partner only lasted 8 months and he has fled...
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Gagrl
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« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2008, 12:01:45 PM »

It will be VERY importnat on Monday to have your notes in front of you and to communicate clearly, concisely and CALMLY to the principal that DH and the ex have a high conflict divorce.  If she has a diagnosis, you might be able to communicate that with the bare bones of what comes with BPD.  Otherwise, you really can't bring up mental illness.
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
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