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Think About It... Whenever we refuse to take responsibility for ourselves, we are unconsciously choosing to react as victim. This inevitably creates feelings of anger, fear, guilt or inadequacy and leaves us feeling betrayed, or taken advantage of by others.~ Lynne Forrest
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Author Topic: What should I do...  (Read 2197 times)
onAmission
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« Reply #60 on: April 23, 2009, 02:13:28 PM »
I do feel bad for my sister in all of this. This is hard for her too.

 I mean, here she needs to get away from Mommyville and her H plans this great 2 day escape and she of course, wants me to go. Great, right. Then My BPDh has to go and have his fit as usual and do his best to torture me and also make the kids pay if I don't stop him.

She loves me and my kids and it hurts her to see us go through this. I really think she struggles with why I don't just leave him. I understand. I'd feel that way if it were her in my shoes.

I must say, she is great to read any articles, etc. I send her. She REALLY tries to understand. I wish it could be easier. But, it's not and I accept that. I'm trying to help her accept that I accept it.
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Auspicious
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« Reply #61 on: April 23, 2009, 02:17:36 PM »
Quote from: onAmission on April 23, 2009, 02:13:28 PM
She loves me and my kids and it hurts her to see us go through this. I really think she struggles with why I don't just leave him. I understand. I'd feel that way if it were her in my shoes.

Maybe you're giving her TMI? 

While I'm sure it's helpful for you to have someone to talk to, but if she is pointlessly hurting herself over it ... just a thought.  I could be all wet; just a possibility.
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harmony1
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« Reply #62 on: April 23, 2009, 02:20:36 PM »
Quote from: JustCrazy1 on April 23, 2009, 02:08:11 PM
sounds good..

have you made your backup plans so he cant mess with anthing while you are gone?

childcare backups? anything he can "forget to do?"



before this is locked..onadmission..have you covered your bases? (see above?)
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onAmission
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« Reply #63 on: April 23, 2009, 02:22:16 PM »
Quote from: JustCrazy1 on April 23, 2009, 02:08:11 PM
sounds good..

have you made your backup plans so he cant mess with anthing while you are gone?

childcare backups? anything he can "forget to do?"


Actually, I am going to take care of that at co-op tomorrow. He needs to take the Friday I am gone off but told me he's not taking HIS vacation so Sis and I can run off and have fun on a whim. Said that the kids would just have to suffer the consequences of my selfish decision along with him and miss the co-op classes they enjoy.

I told him I understood and that I would just set it up with the other Moms to help me out in getting them there. Man, that made him LIVID. His plan didn't work.   ;p

Sis suggested that if he refuses to drive me to the airport, I should just take my own vehicle and pay to leave it at the airport. He will bark about more expense. She said, tell him that it was his decision to spend that money. He was the one who refused to drive you  cool

I probably could get a friend to take me or...maybe I WILL just drive myself. Then, he doesn't have to even see the airport to drop me off OR pick me up and suffer all the TORTURE I'm causing him by doing this incredibly selfish thing  rolleyes  barfy
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harmony1
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« Reply #64 on: April 23, 2009, 02:27:11 PM »
 cool  cool

i would just get a friend to take me..why bother with the expense if it can be avoided
..but thats me..cheapo here  Devilish
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onAmission
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« Reply #65 on: April 23, 2009, 02:27:41 PM »
Quote from: Auspicious on April 23, 2009, 02:17:36 PM
Maybe you're giving her TMI? 

While I'm sure it's helpful for you to have someone to talk to, but if she is pointlessly hurting herself over it ... just a thought.  I could be all wet; just a possibility.

Yeah, I have thought about that. It's hard, we have this "sister" connection, she always seems to call when I am trying to calm down from a rage of his. Also, she would feel very upset to think I was keeping info. from her.

Still...what she doesn't know. I actually have tried to scale back on sharing ALL the horrid details. I know it's hard for her to process them knowing she can't help me.

p.s.  Just curious...why do threads get locked. Did I do something wrong? Gosh, I hope not ?
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Auspicious
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« Reply #66 on: April 23, 2009, 02:32:18 PM »
Nothing wrong, but ... we're at 7 pages.

Please do start a new one and carry on! smiley
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BPDFamily.com > Dealing with Relationship Partners (heterosexual, gay, lesbian) with BPD  > [L5] Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner > Topic: What should I do...
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