BPDFamily.com

Hi there,

I am brand new to this site, in a relationships with a partner who just received a working diagnosis of BPD. It’s a relief having some answers and she is in therapy and investigating other types of treatment. We have been together for a year and now live together. I try my best to be calm and patient and non reactive when she lashes out or when the moods swing, and sometimes I can access tenderness and care and understanding and it take it personally. Lately work has been incredibly busy and with the world being in the state it is in, I am finding myself with less patience and my walls go up sooner. When I take an inch for myself she uses it as ammunititioj that I don’t love her or she swings the other way and books up all her time with others since she says I prefer alone time to time with her  anyways, then gets  mad when we don’t have time together. I am so sad and I miss connecting with her and I don’t know how to manage the my workload and mental health and responsibilities while also being at the mercy of her moods. I am so completely exhausted and I feel like I am losing my sense of self because I have to edit myself so much. I can’t even pet the cat with her being upset that I show them affection if she is upset and suddenly doors start slamming and she starts hysterically crying and it’s just so scary.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. I’m just not sure what to do and I am becoming scared of my partner and I feel like I can’t manage my own responsibilities well and that there isn’t space for me in this relationship. I don’t know what to do. Any advice on where to start would be so helpful.