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He texted me tonight... ."You know I love you." He had not texted in about three days. It's a week now total NC. I've been emotionally detatched for months. Last night I had a bad dream and awakened with beginnings of ruminations. I was able to look at the situation differently though. Instead of trying to analyze the dream or ruminate about xh/BPD/NPD I was able to say, "Thank God I got away from the r/s. Thank God I'm not in that mess anymore." Maybe  I can use the dream as a warning rather than a flea.

LIG  :)

You're still in contact. He's still texting because he can. You're still accepting texts into your inbox. No contact means you block the texts. If your service provider doesn't allow you to do this, then you've got to delete the text yourself before reading it, not afterward.  You have to stop obsessing over him. No contact means you've made a decision to disallow any form of emotional blackmail to infect your mind.  Reading these texts is still keeping you transfixed and in the game.

No contact includes every single form of contact: mail/email, phone, fax, facebook, IM, texts - EVERYTHING.  Eventually the texts will stop. No contact does not mean counting the days between texts and worrying that they will stop.  Anything that gives you reason to reengage is dangerous to your health.  End the back and forth. No contact means you're done.

Some people consider the need for interaction with a Borderline partner as an addiction. If you are addicted, you've got to stop the drug dealer from knocking on your door and giving you your fix. Symbolically, blocking the door means blocking all electronic access- even reading the texts that he sends that give you what you want to hear. :light:

If they keep hanging around your property trespassing, or keep knocking on your door pleading with you, do what I did: 1. Walk limp or ride to your local courthouse. You don't need any lawyer it's free to get a restraining order. Explain the situation. 2. Fill out all the forms. 3. Then call the police whenever they come around.

you can include anything you want as a condition in a restraining order. Even no phone contact. As 2010 said, you can call your phone company and have his number blocked from your phone also. Or just delete every text before you read it.

I actually do have his number labeled as DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! and have been deleting before reading but this one popped up as I was listening to a podcast and caught me off guard. At one time I did have smart limits which allowed me to block, but it has a small fee attatched. I am starting school in January and am cutting financial corners. This is one fee I may be best to pay. I appreciate all the input.

2010 it sounds as if you have ended your r/s and moved on without a hitch and without looking back. I will still look at it as NC from my end. But I do appreciate your expertise. Are you a councelor or doctor? You should be.

yeah, i blocked his #, and eventually he got ahold of me via his mothers phone. frustrating. i mean, can ya take a hint?

Hate it when they "ghost". It's their way of seeing if you are still addicted like any good drug dealer they want to keep you hooked in ... .

Deb, Same happened to me. I blocked his number he still got through. I then changed my number and he got hold of it (how?). I changed my number a second time and he still got it. I moved 200 miles away and he found me. I now have blocked his number and all e-mail addresses again. I think this time (fingers crossed) he may go away as he is getting tired. I know I'm tired! lol!