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Title: Almost 5 months out - it really can get better Post by: CooperD on February 23, 2017, 06:35:00 AM Good morning from the UK everyone,
I've not been posting on the forums for a while just to try to give myself time to build my recovery which I am now well on the way to achieving. My story is available in other threads and is not a nice one. My ex-wife had BPD and also i'm sure NPD (the Witch variety) she was physically, sexually, emotionally and financially abusive towards me for several years. Threatend to accuse me of raping her, punched me, told me she may have HIV etc. The list is endless. In Novemeber she came to the UK and blindsided me saying she wanted to work on us only for her to drop divorce papers on me with a smile on her face and a glass of champagne in her hand - she then flew back and treated me like I was dead. At the time and throughout the last few years she pushed me right to the edge - I just wanted to be free from her and contemplated both disappearing from the face of the world and also suicide (to the point of notes / date and location). Thanks to this forum and some inner strength that I found from somewhere in those darkest moments I have managed to survive Title: Re: Almost 5 months out - it really can get better Post by: CooperD on February 23, 2017, 06:40:32 AM I have had to actively fight and work to recover -
I have attended counselling sessions and told my therapist everything. This really helped me to realise that it wasnt my fault and there was nothing I could have really done. I have been excercising so much - I am now at my best fitness levels since I was in my early 20s. I have met a wonderful girl - so lovely and the most beautiful girl I have ever seen let alone dated. My ex used to tell me I could never get anyone that looked as good as her - she was wrong. I generally feel happy and content and that my life can start again and does have a future. For those that are currently at the start of the process and struggling please know that it does get better and that no contact helps so much. My BPD wanted to destroy my life and she almost did but now I know there is happiness without her. Title: Re: Almost 5 months out - it really can get better Post by: marti644 on February 23, 2017, 07:39:47 AM It really is amazing how time heals. Glad to know you're doing so great!
Title: Re: Almost 5 months out - it really can get better Post by: UnforgivenII on February 23, 2017, 09:20:22 AM Thank you for sharing.
Title: Re: Almost 5 months out - it really can get better Post by: sad but wiser on February 23, 2017, 09:38:21 PM Dear Cooper,
I'm so glad to hear this! Title: Re: Almost 5 months out - it really can get better Post by: SuperJew82 on February 23, 2017, 11:04:32 PM Thanks for sharing Coop! I'm beginning to see what you are talking about. I'm getting close to my 3 month mark of NC.
You are right. I can't stress how NC is the biggest gift you can give yourself. You disarm them when you take their ammunition away. I hope they look at their situation and decide to take responsibility for their actions and decide to get help, although I know the vast majority will simply find a new victim or two. Title: Re: Almost 5 months out - it really can get better Post by: lovenature on February 24, 2017, 10:25:32 PM Great to hear Coop, just be sure this new girl is also beautiful on the inside, and you are ready for another relationship to avoid causing pain for either of you. Keep going brother, it sounds like you are doing well with detaching.
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