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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: ksqueen on January 13, 2021, 11:30:57 AM



Title: Engulfment: how do I care for my baby when my co-parent has bpd?
Post by: ksqueen on January 13, 2021, 11:30:57 AM
Hello,
After reading walking on eggshells I strongly suspect my co-parent has bpd. I gave birth in February right before the pandemic and our relationship has completed disintegrated in the subsequent months. I moved out months ago bc I was concerned about the impact of what I can only describe as tantrums on our baby. My co-parent won't acknowledge the emotional chaos that they're constantly in and hasn't been willing to seek treatment. Any advice on how to coparent or how to quell these emotional storms would be so appreciated!
Thanks for reading.


Title: Re: Engulfment: how do I care for my baby when my co-parent has bpd?
Post by: formflier on January 13, 2021, 12:41:23 PM
*welcome*

I'm so glad you found us...I believe we can help you.

Pandemic, new baby, BPDish behavior from coparent...that sounds like a hard year!

How are you doing?  

I also want to applaud you for putting your child's emotional needs first and taking action based on what you believe you child needs.  Those instincts will serve you will...keep it up!

OK...the answers to your question are more of a process than a one post answer.  You have a lot to learn so you can make wise decisions.

I suggest you start with this article.

What it takes to be in a relationship with a person with BPD (https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship)

What was your first reaction to the article?

Best,

FF



Title: Re: Engulfment: how do I care for my baby when my co-parent has bpd?
Post by: livednlearned on January 14, 2021, 12:11:03 PM
Joining FormFlier in welcoming you  :hug:

That's a lot of change and stress to endure. What a year.

What kind of arrangement do you have in place with your co-parent to care for your baby?

Any particular behavior that you're struggling with?

We're here to walk with you. It takes a lot of strength to not be emotionally injured in these relationships, and strength can be in short supply when you're caring for a baby (not to mention the pandemic, like FF mentioned). People here have lived what you're going through and really understand.

Glad you found the site.