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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Pinoypride18 on January 26, 2014, 10:52:28 PM



Title: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: Pinoypride18 on January 26, 2014, 10:52:28 PM
Do they actually feel bad or at least understand that them sleeping around with multiple sex partners comes off as slutty?

Does being wanted for sex mean that much importance to them to make them feel good about themselves? like they don't care about the consequences as long as they feel special?

Do they not care that people view them as slutty?

Or are they really trying to be adventurous and have crazy sex?


I am just still trying to get over my exBPDgf having sex with someone else. But not just that they are having sex but very promiscuous. And how they are going about it, getting caught in school, going around having sex in alleys and corners. As if they can't wait to do it anywhere else. It just bothers me because i always treated her like a princess, actually waiting for a bed or not do sexual things in public. The way they is going about things is very slutty and desperate. It is like she doesn't care what it takes to please her new guy, they will give him what she wants she she wants it.

Awwhhh im just so angry! if this is what she wanted the whole time i don't get why she could not have told me. I would have been ok with something casual. Instead i could have just treated her like a cheap whore and still got the same results. And i hate how she would rather have someone is doesn't care for her, is always with other girls, and treats her like a cheap whore. Than me who was nothing but good to her and had gone through hell and back for her. They don't make sense.


Title: Re: How do most BPD view their sexuality
Post by: CoasterRider on January 26, 2014, 11:10:49 PM
Risky sex behaviors is a classic symptom of acting out under cluster B disorders. It most certainly has to do with their ego and self esteems. They don't realize how it makes them look because borderlines rarely accept the reality of their behaviors. Even if told, they will justify it somehow to themselves... .


Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: SeekingAdviceinCa on January 26, 2014, 11:50:36 PM
Mine is hyper sexual. Always thinking about sex. Now that we are separated, I know she cheated when we dated, during our marriage, and during our trial separation.  She's had unprotected sex with these men without knowing them or their history. (Thank goodness I was tested and am safe).

For her, she associates being sexual with self esteem and self worth.  If I wasn't in the mood or as our relationship broke down and my desire for her waned, it was a very deep and personal rejection for her if we didn't have sex.



Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: Perfidy on January 27, 2014, 12:05:37 AM
Sex is a tool and pay in trade. For a weapon grade borderline it is a means of survival in the field of combat


Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: Moonie75 on January 27, 2014, 12:11:15 AM
Ya know that 'funny feeling'  that 'X-factor'  those 'butterflies in your belly' that we feel when we're in love?

Borderlines don't get those feelings! The nearest they can get is an orgasm! And when you don't get those feelings, yeah, it probably does take many many orgasms to sooth the lacking!

Many pwBPD master bate far far more than 'Nons' too!

The all too brief seconds of orgasmic euphoria, are the only fleeting moments they can truly enjoy!



Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: Pinoypride18 on January 27, 2014, 05:25:33 AM
Moonie75, i get what you mean. My ex hating feels and emotions. And it seemed like orgasming was her only way of feeling something. I really don't how it feels for them to be so empty inside, no feelings for anything. And the only way to connect or feel anything is through emotionless sex. No wonder they have risky sexual behaviour. They care more about having sex then any consequence it may have.



This is messed up but i hope she gets an STD or pregnant.


Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: growing_wings on January 27, 2014, 05:40:17 AM
i am also puzzled with the fact htat they can be soo promiscuous and really dont care a thing, not for the people they are hurting. she was aware she was hurting people along the way, as she admitted to it, but she didnt seem to care. she also called  herself sex addict, and she even seemed proud with it.


Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: Changingman on January 27, 2014, 08:11:24 AM
Do they actually feel bad or at least understand that them sleeping around with multiple sex partners comes off as slutty?

Does being wanted for sex mean that much importance to them to make them feel good about themselves? like they don't care about the consequences as long as they feel special?

Do they not care that people view them as slutty?

Or are they really trying to be adventurous and have crazy sex?


I am just still trying to get over my exBPDgf having sex with someone else. But not just that they are having sex but very promiscuous. And how they are going about it, getting caught in school, going around having sex in alleys and corners. As if they can't wait to do it anywhere else. It just bothers me because i always treated her like a princess, actually waiting for a bed or not do sexual things in public. The way they is going about things is very slutty and desperate. It is like she doesn't care what it takes to please her new guy, they will give him what she wants she she wants it.

Awwhhh im just so angry! if this is what she wanted the whole time i don't get why she could not have told me. I would have been ok with something casual. Instead i could have just treated her like a cheap whore and still got the same results. And i hate how she would rather have someone is doesn't care for her, is always with other girls, and treats her like a cheap whore. Than me who was nothing but good to her and had gone through hell and back for her. They don't make sense.

Hi Pinoypride18,

Number one she is not just a cheap slutty whore,

she is a cheap slutty whore with a mental disorder

Number two if you want to treat someone as a

cheap whore, You can!

Do you?

Be honest it'll get you to where you want to be quicker.

Seems they feel so little it takes a lot of stimulation to get through. Mine x is incapable of love, I understand they are all incapable of love.

If you cannot love, infatuation is a back up. It burns out and then they are left empty again.



Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: delusionalxox on January 27, 2014, 08:30:16 AM
It applies to men too. My ex simply has to have a ___ going on. And doesn't care if he hurts the person... . at all. He projected the whole 'whore' thing onto me too.

For men it seems particularly complex. Ex both cheated and was desperately jealous and suspicious. I guess because he would 'f*** anything on two legs) (his own words not mine) he assumed I would too. And projected his self-disgust onto me too.

He also said something very sad: that 'men and women cannot be friends' and that he found it hard to be 'real' friends with women who liked  him 'because I want to ___ them'. A very hollow view of human relations.


Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: joethemechanic on January 27, 2014, 08:48:48 AM
Do they actually feel bad or at least understand that them sleeping around with multiple sex partners comes off as slutty?.

I blame a lot of this on our current state of affairs. There is no shame in being a slut anymore. Just look at what's on TV. Attractive sluts are portrayed as "cool and empowered" by the media.

So I don't think they care at all about appearing slutty. They think it makes them "cool' like some reality TV star.


Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: delusionalxox on January 27, 2014, 09:34:13 AM
Agreed Joethemechanic... . and sex now is all about consumption isn't it, how much you are 'getting'... .

My ex was casually proud of his conquests... . he even went on holiday to Morocco once and managed to break the hearts of TWO local women, romancing them and then buggering off into the sunset... . his cry was always  'I never lied to them, I never promised them anything'... . :)  


Title: Re: How does my ex view her sexuality
Post by: joethemechanic on January 27, 2014, 10:21:26 AM
his cry was always  'I never lied to them, I never promised them anything'... . :)  

Yes, because a normal person would never associate romance and sex with love. That's just silly