Title: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Billydawn4 on December 26, 2016, 11:45:57 AM My 56 year old daughter is not speaking to me again. This happens about twice a year. I have seen a therapist. She recommended I read "Stop Walking on Eggshells". I'm quite sure my daughter is BPD. She and I are alone in the world. We live in the same city, but not together. I worry about her because she has other health issues---not many friends. In the past, I have been the one to call her and try to get our relationship back on track. This isn't working, because the pattern persists. I have a lot of friends who are supportive, but they don't understand and they are disgusted with her for treating me badly (ignoring me). I'm trying to stay strong and believe that I have done nothing wrong, but I am really wavering and need some support.
By the way, she is a PHD clinical psychologist, so she doesn't see this in herself! I would appreciate any advice or help anyone can offer,. Thanks! Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Mutt on December 26, 2016, 05:45:17 PM Hi Billydawn4,
*welcome* I'm sorry to hear that. I think to work in the field of psychology you need self awareness. It's possible that sh may be aware but it has to feel lonely when your friends are quick to judge your D. It helps to read as much as you can about BPD, you'll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time, there's a reason why she behaves the way that she does. You mention that there a pattern, how long does she usually do this push behavior with you? Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Billydawn4 on February 04, 2017, 09:20:55 AM Hi Billydawn4, *welcome* I'm sorry to hear that. I think to work in the field of psychology you need self awareness. It's possible that sh may be aware but it has to feel lonely when your friends are quick to judge your D. It helps to read as much as you can about BPD, you'll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time, there's a reason why she behaves the way that she does. You mention that there a pattern, how long does she usually do this push behavior with you? Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Billydawn4 on February 04, 2017, 09:29:43 AM Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Mutt on February 04, 2017, 10:16:04 AM Your thread title ":)o I detach or try to mend fences?" suggests one of two choices. How about choosing both choices? Learn to depersonalize the behavior and learn communication techniques to improve r/s's?
Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Billydawn4 on February 04, 2017, 12:01:36 PM Hi Billydawn4, *welcome* I'm sorry to hear that. I think to work in the field of psychology you need self awareness. It's possible that sh may be aware but it has to feel lonely when your friends are quick to judge your D. It helps to read as much as you can about BPD, you'll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time, there's a reason why she behaves the way that she does. You mention that there a pattern, how long does she usually do this push behavior with you? Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Billydawn4 on February 04, 2017, 12:03:45 PM Hi Billydawn4, *welcome* I'm sorry to hear that. I think to work in the field of psychology you need self awareness. It's possible that sh may be aware but it has to feel lonely when your friends are quick to judge your D. It helps to read as much as you can about BPD, you'll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time, there's a reason why she behaves the way that she does. You mention that there a pattern, how long does she usually do this push behavior with you? Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Billydawn4 on February 04, 2017, 12:14:41 PM Thank you, so much, for your suggestions. Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: wendydarling on February 05, 2017, 08:16:09 AM Hello Billydawn4
I wanted to pop by and say hello to you and welcome I'm not going through the same with my adult daughter (28) who lives at home, being cut off twice a year (yet?). What I do relate to is you and your daughter do not argue, my daughter is a 'quiet pwBPD', she internalises and I work daily keeping communication, to help her stay with us in the present while she is helping herself through DBT and her struggles. You ask do I detach or try to mend fences? Is there a third way, a new way you can explore with your T? WDx Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Billydawn4 on February 05, 2017, 01:06:35 PM Hello Billydawn4 I wanted to pop by and say hello to you and welcome I'm not going through the same with my adult daughter (28) who lives at home, being cut off twice a year (yet?). What I do relate to is you and your daughter do not argue, my daughter is a 'quiet pwBPD', she internalises and I work daily keeping communication, to help her stay with us in the present while she is helping herself through DBT and her struggles. You ask do I detach or try to mend fences? Is there a third way, a new way you can explore with your T? WDx Title: Re: Do I detach or try to mend fences? Post by: Billydawn4 on February 05, 2017, 01:09:33 PM have communication while remaining detached mentally). |