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Title: Daughter´s budding BPD Post by: ChollaRose on November 18, 2020, 06:55:21 AM My youngest is 12. I share custody with my ex BPD/Narcissist who is her father. I left him when she was 9. For a year now she has begun displaying BPD traits: lots of black and white thinking, lies, manipulation, insults, physical and verbal aggression when things don´t go her way... abusive. Many of the things she does are very similar to ways she saw her father treat me.
Right now, it´s super challenging having boundaries around her phone. It has become the addictive object, and I´m having such a hard time getting her to respect the time limits. She barricades herself in her room and refuses to give it up. Of course if I try to enter and confiscate the phone, it all blows up. What to do? How to help her? She sees a therapist (and has since she was 9), and she knows. Do we need someone more specialized in DBT? Thank you! Title: Re: Daughter´s budding BPD Post by: Swimmy55 on November 20, 2020, 08:45:47 AM Hi ChollaRose and welcome.
My response may be lacking and I apologize ahead of time . Can you work with your daughter's therapist on her behaviors? The setting of boundaries has to have consequences that you can live with/ can mete out . Think through what is a consequence of her not relinquishing the phone. Or better yet, are the time limits realistic ( no phone for a week vs no phone during dinner?). Or you don't have to take the "whole phone" away. For example, if she is misusing an app like Instagram, maybe suspend / delete it temporarily for a few hours or some such. I am not sure if I am hitting the mark here with my suggestions- please write back and fill in more context for your situation if you are able. Here is a link to peruse through:https://bpdfamily.com/content/setting-boundaries |