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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: juju2 on June 29, 2020, 09:23:55 PM



Title: has anyone gone to a sex therapist, couples issues
Post by: juju2 on June 29, 2020, 09:23:55 PM
Hi

Just wondering if anyone has experience in this area, addressing sexual problems that the couple has.

We are getting closer together, and one issue that has not been addressed/treated is our sexual problems as a couple.

Our issue is not an uncommon one, and am looking at ways we could see if there are ways of dealing with, healing, repairing.

Thank you

j


Title: Re: has anyone gone to a sex therapist, couples issues
Post by: once removed on July 03, 2020, 02:56:43 AM
i would venture to say a great deal of couples face sexual issues.

the most common is sex drive. its a big one, really, even if both parties understand the difference and try to meet each others needs, its a challenge.

there are, i would venture to say, upwards of a hundred potential sexual issues couples may face. some easily resolvable, some that take work, some that are fundamentally incompatible.

what is the sexual issue, what is the difference the two of you are facing?


Title: Re: has anyone gone to a sex therapist, couples issues
Post by: juju2 on July 03, 2020, 02:19:09 PM
Thanks once

 am not at ease discussing the situation, all I was inquiring is if anyone went to a ST, and if that helped. 
it's something unusual to my history, started at the beginning of our r/s.

(i did experience lack of desire in my marriage and we didn't work on that, nor did we work on the other things that caused the marriage to dissolve)

I did not know if sexual issues, between the couple, are common in r/s w pwPD.
This started and morphed into something more, at the beginning...
He thought it might be related to his medication at the time, and for two weeks, when he changed meds, it was a lot better.
The new med didn't work for the main thing he was taking it for, he went back to the other med...the issue came back.
At the time I just thought it was something we can deal with, since it seemed to be related to that med.
He later went off the med, problem didn't go away...and
later I found out he was into porn...which I also attributed to our issue(s).
I mention porn, it seems to be pervasive in our society...

so we both have changed, in the time apart, grown, I have gotten past, an addiction, am in a 12 step, he is also in a program; neither of us are dealing to my knowlege, our prev issue...
I have it like we will be able to deal w this.

we are not in a place to get into this issue, me and him, going so slow, we meet for coffee still; am just hoping we are able to deal with things that present.

When we went to counseling a few years back, the T said we had no foundation of friendship, we went right past that stage (love bombing--nvr knew at the time there was a name for it---). This time we are working to get a foundation...

thank you for reading this