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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: JerryRG on July 21, 2016, 10:26:56 PM



Title: She text and gives me pictures tonight
Post by: JerryRG on July 21, 2016, 10:26:56 PM
Hello everyone, I'm sorry to bring up my son's mother again.

After establishing my bounderies a few weeks ago and asking my son's mother to please not discuss her personal problems, tonight she sent actual pictures of her swollen thumb.

Then it hit me, I wanted to cry just thinking how sick and afraid and miserable she is. I know I've hated her, I know I wished she would crash and burn so I would be proven right. My belief she needed AA or NA, Alanon or whatever it took to get well.

She's failing and although I've asked for years for her to hit rock bottom, there is no reward for revenge or hatred. I really do feel sorry for her. She must be coming to the realization I'm never coming back. I'm never going to be her friend. She had me, she lost me and her destiny is in her own hands.

I begged her to get help, she wasn't ready, I moved on.


Title: Re: She text and gives me pictures tonight
Post by: lovenature on July 21, 2016, 11:25:33 PM
The less communication the better, I don't have kids with mine but she lives across the street, I blocked all communication for a while but that led to more banging on my doors at all hours. I decided to keep my home phone line open, she leaves messages and I usually just delete them without listening to them; the more NC the better.

BPD is a very serious and sad mental illness that causes pain for both partners, I am trying to detach with compassion (I admit my compassion has caused my heart and feelings to take over and break NC when she wouldn't leave me alone). I know how tough it is when you just want to communicate and live around each other with respect, and they continue to try and pull you back.

Remember what really matters to you.