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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Climbmountains91 on November 18, 2014, 05:55:48 PM



Title: ExBPDbf AA meetings - how to support him?
Post by: Climbmountains91 on November 18, 2014, 05:55:48 PM
My ex has expressed that he wants to go to AA meetings as his alcohol intake is getting out of hand (he only drinks at night) he has some beers and half a bottle of Jack) a night. He said his family have just only be noticing (only just noticed?) as his been staying a lot at theres lately. And his worried about its affecting his health like his stomach issues and no one can find a diagnoses. He had a scan on his liver few months ago and it showed a little fat on it and he knows the way its going his going to kill himself if his not careful. As well his worried about his weight.

I don't know if this is just a moment of clarity and i just want to hold onto it because its reality and his seeing it. He said his been thinking about this past five days. Do i support him with this and encourage him and even offer to pay for half the seasons he has as i want him to do this so bad especially even more so for my daughter i dont want her to have a dad that she can say is an alcoholic and that and if i can help in anyway i want to or do i leave him to it and not bring it up and treat as a moment of "clarity"?


Title: Re: ExBPDbf AA meetings - how to support him?
Post by: maxsterling on November 19, 2014, 12:02:57 PM
I think your question goes along the lines of "support" vs "help".  I go to al-anon and nar-anon meetings (for the friends and family of addicts) and one of the things we read and try to understand is how to "be things" and not "do things" for the addict. 

That said, it's great that he is having this moment of clarity!  Yet, be careful - this is his journey and he needs to find his own way.  Congratulate and encourage him for making these realizations and strides, but try to avoid pushing him or getting involved in his sobriety.  He needs to do this for himself.