BPDFamily.com

My uBPDw has been on cymbalta for at least 3 years and abilify for almost 2. Can these drugs mixed together, abilify being an antipsychotic, cause an emotion to change such as " I dont love you anymore" my wife connects not wanting to have or desire sex or have any romantic feeling towards me to she probably does not love me anymore. I am beginning to think all this crap mixed together begins to mess with emotions such as the feeling of love, especially with someone who has many of the BPD traits. opinions, experiences? I know both of these drugs have an effect on the sex drive but can they effect deeper than that?

I think it could especially since pwBPD connect with others more easily physically than emotionally. The sex is what keeps them connected to you. That is especially true with my gf. She just started on Prozac and I am wondering if I am going to have the same problem you are having now. I was on Prozac once and had almost a psychotic reaction to it. After I did some research I found out that this happens to about 1% of the people that take it. So I am not too happy that she is taking it and I don't really think it is necessary.

I also have a friend whose wife is bipolar and on 4 medications I think. He complains all the time about their lack of a sex life due to the drugs, but has never mentioned her losing any love feelings for their relationship.

I don't know what your situation is, but maybe she could try to transition off of them to see if they are really helping her that much. I am really interested to see how my relationship changes over the next month as her Prozac kicks in. Should be interesting.

Hi byfaith,


medication is highly individual and needs a trained professional to assess. If you and your wife have serious doubts there is always the option to ask straight questions or to get a second opinion from another professional.

In the course of a BPD relationship (and in some sense it is the relationship that is sick) matters get progressively worse (some of that can be stopped from our side using skills see LESSONS). Medication can be helpful to alleviate part of the pain and enable therapy. And it is therapy that makes a difference in the long run. Is your wife regularly receiving some form of therapy?

No she does not go to therapy. She went a couple times for her depression and then stopped. Her son in his late 20's has SZ. She stays depressed over that and tries to "fix" him. I mentioned the medication issue to her and she didn't bulk at the idea but she isn't going to do anything about it. I finally talked to her yesterday concerning BPD traits. I have been waiting for an open door to speak with her concerning this. She listened and said in a quiet voice "well now I know what is wrong with me"  She will sadly probably never seek help on this. She tries to figure out everything on her own. Thank you for your response and advise

"medication is highly individual and needs a trained professional to assess. If you and your wife have serious doubts there is always the option to ask straight questions or to get a second opinion from another professional."

From my own personal experience, working with a professional is essential. I am on Prozac (SSRI - acts on seratonin) in combination with another antidepressant for chronic pain (Nortiptyline - tricyclic), and chronic depression (result of/tied to pain and fatigue caused by pain, as well as the whole uBPDh thing). I have been on other anti-depressants in the past - all of which affected my sex drive - but have no such problems with this combo. Others do.

I tried Cymbalta (SNRI - acts on both seratonin and noradrenalin) because it is the only anti-depressant that is also indicated for chronic pain, fibromyalgia etc and I felt great in terms of energy, motivation, and pain, but I had *huge* anxiety, insomnia and heart palpitations, along with reduced sex drive.

Every drug affects every individual different. It can take years to get it right, which is why it's imperative to work with a professional.

It is definitely a personal opinion as to whether anti-depressants are necessary for any diagnosis, but there is a wealth of research showing the amygdala (part of the brain thought to govern emotions) acts differently among patients who are depressed, bipolar, etc, and even atrophies. I feel relatively normal with my current regimen and felt completely drained all the time without it.

The answer is that yes, it may be affecting sex drive, but she should not try to go off it without therapeutic consultation. Going off anti-depressants can be disastrous for any patient - and my guess is that if is helping someone with BPD, it could be even worse.