|
Title: Too tired of lies, cheating and silent treatment Post by: Misty-90 on September 27, 2017, 08:32:15 AM My uDBPDbf keeps lying to me, and when I confront him he gives me the silent treatment and It crushes me.
We've been together for 7 months now and I love him dearly, I know he's cheating on me (emotionally) but he won't admit it. Last night I tried to make him promise that he won't see other girls, he said he can't promise anything, and I told him that I can't be in a non monogamous relationship (I tried to be assertive.) We were supposed to meet today. But he has turned off his phone and won't return my calls. I'm trying to understand him, but the silent treatment drives me mad, I've been crying the whole day, I also talked to my friend but they blamed me for staying with this guy. I don't know what to do, I can deal with a break up but not silent treatment. I know I triggered the fear of abandonment in him, but I need to get him to talk to me so I can move on. Right now I'm freaking out. I'm a codependent and I have abandonment issues myself. This is too much for me. Title: Re: Too tired of lies, cheating and silent treatment Post by: donkey2016 on September 28, 2017, 12:45:12 PM Hi Misty,
Poor you it's awful when you're in love and being treated that way. You're not alone - many of us here on this board went through that. What helped me a lot was to detach myself from him emotionally. You can read about that here on this web site. The silent treatment is their way of holding power over you. He will soon be back - begging for your love and forgiveness. Donkey2016 Title: Re: Too tired of lies, cheating and silent treatment Post by: Lucky Jim on September 28, 2017, 02:58:15 PM Excerpt Last night I tried to make him promise that he won't see other girls, he said he can't promise anything, and I told him that I can't be in a non monogamous relationship (I tried to be assertive.) Hey Misty, It seems like you want an exclusive r/s, whereas he wants to be free to play the field, right? I doubt that trying to get him to promise not to see other women is likely to be effective. You might want to read up on boundaries, which define what you will and will not tolerate, under the Tools button above. LuckyJim Title: Re: Too tired of lies, cheating and silent treatment Post by: Misty-90 on September 30, 2017, 02:12:26 PM Hi Misty, Poor you it's awful when you're in love and being treated that way. You're not alone - many of us here on this board went through that. What helped me a lot was to detach myself from him emotionally. You can read about that here on this web site. The silent treatment is their way of holding power over you. He will soon be back - begging for your love and forgiveness. Donkey2016 Omg, thank you, I felt a lot better after reading your respond to my post, it's good to know that I'm not the only one. I'll read abt it asap. Title: Re: Too tired of lies, cheating and silent treatment Post by: Misty-90 on September 30, 2017, 02:17:30 PM Hey Misty, It seems like you want an exclusive r/s, whereas he wants to be free to play the field, right? I doubt that trying to get him to promise not to see other women is likely to be effective. You might want to read up on boundaries, which define what you will and will not tolerate, under the Tools button above. LuckyJim Hi lucky Jim, I'm trying to set some boundaries now, he said he's gonna be more honest, I also told him that I won't accept any kinda of cheating, not sure if he can commit to it. I'm gonna read more. Hope it works. Than you. |