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I have been trying to change jobs for a while.  I used to have a 'career' but the rollercoaster ride put paid to that. I could cope with the loss of status and money but the place I now work is just as dysfunctional as my relationship and so there has been no 'escape'.  I've applied for several jobs in last few years but every time I've had an interview, something has come up in the days before and I've been in a mess by the time I had the interview.  I've had ex file for divorce; ex come back; ex just left - you know the drill.  Don't think he did this deliberately but just to make sure that there wasn't even some unconscious sabotage going on I didn't tell him about the latest interview. 

Didn't work.  Just days before, I found out that exH is to marry in a few weeks (they started dated in December).  This messed me up again - more because of my kids than me this time.  i just couldn't concentrate. 

I woke on the morning of the interview with a very clear voice in my head saying "you will fail".  I nearly phoned and cancelled.   But I really needed a change so I went and I couldn't believe it when I got offered the job.  Not only that, they offered a little more money because they really wanted me.

I was so excited and also a bit sad because I realised how desperate I have become for some kind of affirmation of worth!  It's not my dream job or anything but it does feel like a step forward and I really need that just now.

Hope you all have a better week ahead of you.  :)

Go clairdair! This makes me RIDICULOUSLY happy and I don't even know you! Yay!

I really appreciate you relating the fact that you almost cancelled, but went for it anyway. Really inspiring.

thanks!

Woop!  Well done you!   :)

It's brilliant when you actually feel happy about something, rather than the usual numb and dead feeling inside... .  

I'm so pleased for you!  It's all a step in the right direction! x

Awesome news! Well done, and well done for going ahead with it even though you thought you were going to fail. 

I'm happy you've had a boost - keep going! 

whoo hoo!

that's very cool news  |iiii

I went bush this weekend. Up to the country to visit a friend. And I got a nice text from someone I fancy. It completely lifted my mood... .   in the same way any communication from your ex lowered yours! I know exactly how you feel about those times.

I can't wait for the day when I can lift my own mood and not be triggered by external things... .   good or bad... .   so I am less at the mercy. But as a human being, I'm not sure that's even possible.

Bb12

Thanks for the replies.

I had to leave a job I really liked due to issues around relationship and every time I filled in an application and had to write about previous employment, that stuff would come to the surface again.  I've had several interviews but not got the job and so it feels like it's been a constant round of rejection between job and ex for years so the new job offer is a real boost.

I'm trying to view ex's imminent re-marriage to 'instant' fiancee as a boost as well - he's so caught up in the honeymoon period that I am getting a lot more peace than usual.  I'll start the job just after he remarries so the plan is for me to really concentrate on that and get on with my life.