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I had the same experience with my xBPDb. He became very agitated when i showed him my vulnerable side. He tried to end the conversation asap and change the subject.

Why is that? anybody any idea?

I'm so sorry for your pain 2014  |iiii

It could be narcissism . It feels like a one way relationship? My wife is uBPD and has narcissistic traits.  I grew up with a narcissistic parent. He has always treated me like your exBPDbf. He changes the subject if I try to talk about something personal in my life, how I'm doing, how I feel.

What is your back story with you and exBPDbf?

Im sorry 2014. I agree with Mutt. It's very difficult to be in a PD r/s. I was married to a pNPD and now recovering from my expBPD r/s whereby there was definitely NPD crossover traits. 

Both PDs lack the ability to empathize. 

I know my exNPD partner had zero ability to empathize or allow me to show any vulnerability, ever.  Therefore I kept much inside and felt quite alone. When I met my expBPD that all changed. It felt incredible to be able to be myself, to be opened all the way up by such a loving, present partner who fostered vulnerability, who wanted and was present with so much sharing, who loved talking with me, providing mutual love and support. Who laughed at so much with me.  It was a beautiful, rare, and incredible time.  Something I never knew could exist.

And subsequently, when the latter phases of BPD surfaced, the lack of empathy or ability to allow me to have any needs felt far worse. Bc I had such a sensitive understanding partner in that early stage. To have that taken away in the way that it was, while defying my trust and vulnerabilities,  felt like being slapped hard in the face with cruelty, over and over. 

There's a great deal to be said for being heard and understood. You will find an abundance of that type of support here and I hope you will continue to post and share.

I think it is more of an issue of control.

If they can invalidate your feelings, the less confident you will feel.

If you are not confident, you will be easier to control.

This will allow the BPD to get what they want from you until they find a fresh source.

Mine seemed to enjoy my pain.

I'd open up about things and she got this weird look in her eyes. Our of the fog I now realize it was pleasure.  She enjoyed being able to do that to me.