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Title: Estrangement / alienation Post by: Dutched on September 26, 2016, 04:19:22 PM For those members co-parenting or having shared custody and face the dynamics of the ex related to the kids.
The r/s of children with the primary caretaker (most cases the mother) will be transferred to the next generation. Having the example of mother (exw) who dumped her parents, and having mother as primary caretaker (and HFBPD) will have trans-generational consequences. Kids will most likely transfer it too, unless they deal with their past and with help of their partners. Literature shows, among dr. Craig Childress and David Mallen MD, that PAS is common where a parent shows at least treats of Borderline or Narcissism. For those who are interested: https://drcraigchildressblog.com/2015/03/06/understanding-the-childs-experience/ Literature also refers to it as a Medea Complex. Medea, the Greek mother in the play of Euripides. A story of intense love turned into deep hate that she killed her kids in order get back at her husband for betraying her. A dialogue go’s as: Jason (husband): you loved them and killed them Medea: to make you feel pain. From: THE MEDEA COMPLEX AND THE PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME: When Mothers Damage their Daughter's Ability to Love a Man. Robert M. Gordon, Ph.D. A psychodynamic model of severe divorce pathology views the Medea mother as "narcissistically scarred, embittered dependent woman... .(who) ... .attempts to severe father-child contact as a means of revenging the injury inflicted on her by the loss of a self-object, her hero-husband." The idea is that the Medea mother is so dependent that she cannot deal with the loss, and thus holds on with hate. Her love turned to hate is so passionate that she destroys that which intimacy between them produced. The hate goes beyond her instinctive need to protect her own children. Medea must make the father suffer more than she suffers for it to be a punishment with revenge and make him feel pain Gardner (1987) stated that because of the separation these ex partners (mothers) can’t retaliate directly at their former partner they wreak vengeance to deprive the father from his most treasured possessions, the kids. The victory results in the psychological destruction of the kids. |