BPDFamily.com

Most articles say that BPD symptoms tend to diminish later on in life.

But is it possible or common ( of course any thing is possible with BPD ) for BPD symptoms to come on or increase later on in life, maybe in someone's early 40's  ?

Also, can the BPD symptoms increase later on in life ( early 40's ) if that person increases alcohol use and or starts to abuse prescription drugs or cocaine ?

Female BPD and hormones is also an issue.

Or do BPD symptoms present themselves by mid teens / early 20's ?

Thx

I met my wife at age 24. She had grown up in a pretty dysfunctional system, and had already learned a lot about how the way her FOO behaved didn't work well with other people.

Her BPD-ish behavior must go back before I met her. Episodes were not frequent when we first met, although I do remember one in the first year we knew each other.

Her bad BPD-ish behavior started escalating significantly somewhere between 5-10 years ago (Her 40's) and hit a peak in her late 40s. Until then I thought we had a normal, even healthy marriage. She probably felt the same.

At that time I learned a lot myself, started enforcing boundaries, and changed the equation quite a bit. She did start working on herself, and improved quite a lot since then. For a while I thought she had cured herself. That was overly optimistic. Either she regressed or only made it half-way there. Now she's 50, and on medication for depression, anxiety, and insomnia. This is in the aftermath of a very bad crash a year ago, triggered by grief.

I've certainly heard several members here say that BPD symptoms get worse with substance abuse.

Good topic.  Remember that BPD is a diagnosis for a group of symptoms, not a cause of the symptoms.  that means the symptoms can be different people, and it opens the door for the idea that different things can lead to the same symptoms.  In the case of my SO, clearly her symptoms were showing up by age 10, likely brought on by child abuse.  Substance abuse as a young teenager probably brought out the full BPD effect, as did the repeated trauma from the situations she got herself into as a result of the substance abuse.  Ending the substance abuse didn't solve the BPD. 

After two years with her, I have concluded 1)  this isn't just a behavioral or personality problem, there has to be something physically different about the way her brain is wired; 2) hard to separate chicken from egg.  So if her brain is wired differently, is it abuse, trauma, or drug abuse that caused that?  Or is it the genetics that caused her brain to be wired differently that led to the other issues (or made them worse).   

That said, I see no reason why later in life trauma, concussions, or even illnesses that damage certain parts of the brain cannot cause BPD symptoms when previously none were present.  The research on sports and concussions affecting players' behavior is interesting, as are the changes in people as a result of Alzheimer's disease or a stroke. 

 

In my r/s it showed up bigtime 5 or 6 years ago after a natural disaster forced our family out of home for several months.

Obviously a major life stressor.  Since I didn't know the tools... .I "fed the monster"... .by doing the wrong things... .gave her bad feelings ammunition.

Looking back... .I can see "hints" of it before the disaster.  I see high functioning "BPD traits" in her FOO.

Before the natural disaster I thought I had a normal healthy r/s... .and I think I really did. 

Slowly but surely... .it is getting more back towards "normal".

 

“Remember that BPD is a diagnosis for a group of symptoms, not a cause of the symptoms.”

This was such a good clear concise definition for BPD.

BPD is not like catching a cold.  It is not something you get…it is something you are.

Thx

I'm going to disagree... .just a bit.  Yes... BPD traits are part of someones "personality"... .and are resistant to change... but they can... .and do... .change for the better... .and for the worse.

I say this because lots of times people say "that is just who I am"... .to try and say it is... .and can't be changed... .

It can be changed... .but everyone involved needs a clear understanding that the change is not going to be easy... .and most likely won't be fast.

The chicken or the egg conundrum all depends on what theoretical model is being used to describe the etiology.  Linehan's (1993) biosocial model incorporates biological vulnerabilities (brain abnormalities and genetics) that mutually influence social/environmental influences (invalidating environments, ineffective parenting) with an inherited lack of impulse control.  All of these risk factors interact during childhood to produce heightened emotional dysregulation and a host of other BPD traits that surface during young adulthood.

A lot of neurobiological research does suggest that injuries to certain areas of the brain can affect impulsivity and emotional regulation.  In addition, it could be plausible that during the lifecourse an individual could have some type of imbalance of a neurotransmitter chemical, such as serotonin.  Empirical research has found that low serotonin levels are correlated to BPD diagnoses.

I too have an so who seems to be "peaking" in his late forties. I have been with my uBPDh since I was fifteen but I only started looking up what could be causing his behaviors in the last 5 or so yrs because I knew it was not normal and wanted to know what it could possibly be. It was the rages that went on & on & on that made me have to know... I am glad I have educated myself because it helps me cope although it is very very frustrating at times and I have had to learn who I can change(me) and who i cannot(him). I practice depersonalizing every fricking day, and wonder if I'll ever get that down. Signs were there a long time ago but compared to now, seem mild. Life happens, I'm just saddened that he dwells on & magnifies the bad and has such a hard time seeing any good. That is soo not me, and never will be.