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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: English Sid on January 19, 2016, 03:00:53 AM



Title: Had an email from estranged wife
Post by: English Sid on January 19, 2016, 03:00:53 AM
Hi All

I had previously sent my estranged UBPD wife a farewell message stating my intention of going NC again and blocking her on most communication lines after she refused to sign the divorce papers and said she never would sign.

I did say I would not block my email in the event she wanted to talk about the divorce in the future.

Her reply to my message was (Go ahead, it's my pleasure). Myself then thinking happy days.

After 10 days of NC, I received an email from her which read as follows.

Babe, don't forget to clean our apartment, make sure you eat at the right times, cut your nails, don't smoke too much as it is bad for your health and especially don't drink too much.

Always look after yourself.

Sincerely yours.

?

I did not reply.

I have heard pwBPD don't like to let go, but this was just bizarre to me, I had made it clear to her (I thought) that the relationship is well and truly over and there is no going back and that I did not want to be friends.

Looks like this is going to be harder than I first thought and she thinks she can keep me dangling for future needs which will not be the case.

Any advice on how to drive home the fact to her, that I do not want her now or in the future would be much appreciated.


Title: Re: Had an email from estranged wife
Post by: once removed on January 19, 2016, 12:51:28 PM
hey English Sid 

i think this is less about keeping you dangling and more about her poor boundaries, and possible (likely) inability to accept finality ("its over". this is probably why shes refused to sign the divorce papers. fear of abandonment plays into this.

it sounds like youve been pretty clear about all this. you told her email is open to discuss divorce. to that email, no response is appropriate  |iiii