BPDFamily.com

Sometimes it doesn't help that you can spot them. Sorry, rant incoming.

There's one social media platform that I use anonymously and I merely hinted that I was somewhat unhappy that I was spending Christmas alone. (Context: Orphaned at age 6, had no living relatives, grew up in broken foster homes, got myself a scholarship at a school, then studied and made something out of my life regardless. Spent years, even decades, without so much as a hug from anyone, and Christmas always reminds me that other people are part of a profound social net which I am not. My entire life has been a struggle against this isolation, and for decades I've been working myself to the marrow doing EVERYTHING to connect with other people – eventually leading to that BPD relationship which brought me here to this board.)

So some narcissistic idiot on that social media platform responded with a platitude along the lines of "you feel alone, but you aren't alone". I said something like thanks, but that that wasn't really helpful at the moment, happy Christmas anyway.

This stranger then went into full devaluation mode and kept telling me how it was my fault that I was alone, that I should connect with people more and that my isolation was self-chosen. I responded that it wasn't, and he said that my "whining" was "disgusting" and that he was going to block me. And then he blocked me before I could even reply.

I've already been having a PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm)ty day, what with it being Christmas Eve and my not seeing anyone for the next four or five days, and I just broke down in tears. It was such a vile thing to read and the straw that broke the camel's back.

What an arse do you have to be to tell someone with no living relatives that they've "chosen it"? And on Christmas Eve?

And why? Because I didn't react with unbridled gratitude to his stupid invalidating comment.

I really hate these cluster-B people. Just lock them all up and never let them out again.

Rant over. Merry Christmas everyone.

Communication by platitude, so Invalidating, not to mention the following nastiness, uncalled for.

As an adopted kid (by a single, BPD mother) and introvert,  :hug:

Merry Christmas.

Sappho, how are you doing now dear?

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

So some narcissistic idiot on that social media platform responded with a platitude along the lines of "you feel alone, but you aren't alone". I said something like thanks, but that that wasn't really helpful at the moment, happy Christmas anyway.


Maybe it's about having a sliver of cognitive empathy but I'm always amazed when you open up to someone and they think pulling out a generic "Maybe it simply wasn't meant to be/You need to zoom out and look at the big picture/etc." response will be of any goddamn use.

And how they get triggered when I go "well yeah thank you but you do realize that doesn't help at all does it".

Would much rather take a humble "I'm sorry you're feeling so down". But no, they need the dopamine from telling someone off, even when it's wrapped in a polite package. That's what I think it is: a passive-aggressive put-down much of the time.