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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: downwhim on March 26, 2015, 09:22:21 AM



Title: How common is it for BPD to go back to ex spouse after b/u?
Post by: downwhim on March 26, 2015, 09:22:21 AM
Just curious,

Wanted to know if others on here that have broken up have found out their ex's went back to their ex spouse. I have a feeling, just a feeling this may have happened in my case. They have two teenage kids together and she never was out of the picture.

Any stories to add?


Title: Re: How common is it for BPD to go back to ex spouse after b/u?
Post by: tholian on March 26, 2015, 09:39:15 AM
Just curious,

Wanted to know if others on here that have broken up have found out their ex's went back to their ex spouse. I have a feeling, just a feeling this may have happened in my case. They have two teenage kids together and she never was out of the picture.

Any stories to add?

My Ex cheated on me while we were together, broke off with me, went with the new guy, got used and he left her. Then she went back to her ex bf (the one she had on off relationship for the past 8 years).

So, they do go back as long as it suits them i guess.



Title: Re: How common is it for BPD to go back to ex spouse after b/u?
Post by: mitchell16 on March 26, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
once, very early our relationship she pushed me away and recycled with the bf before me. prior to this she had told me how she cared for him but he was to old for her ( 12 years age diffrence) he was controlling, had anger issues, once he had broke into her apartment to see if she was really home cause he thought she was cheating on him. of course she was cheating on him. she found out from a family member that he was doing well without her, and had found a new gf and was moving on. She manufactured fight between us, pushed me away, recycled him, dumped him after about week, recycled me. LOL  The ex bf before him, she had a recycle relatinship with this man for about 10 years and she had left her husband for that man. So i would say they will, In my opinion they will go to where ever they are getting what they need at that point. Mine reycled with the ex before me just becuase she heard he was moving on with someone else and she couldnt stand it. So she recycled him just to see if she could,once she could and she broke him up with new gf up she no longer wanted him. She then dumped him on his head and once again left his life in a mess. To me thats just an evil person. I could be recycleing with her right now, shes done everything but beg for me to come back. But the once thing that helped me stay nc was remebering how she did the BF before me, she only wants me is because I walked away and she cant stand it. I know once she got me back in, she would do me the same way. and our relationship started resembling the one she had for 10 years. I wanted more then this for my life. I think them going back to an ex of any kind is very common.


Title: Re: How common is it for BPD to go back to ex spouse after b/u?
Post by: clydegriffith on March 26, 2015, 11:10:37 AM
It's just feels like a never ending merry go round. If they think they have a chance to immediatley normalize themselves with an X they will go for it. In my opinoin it's a matter of who is easily accesible and who is more than likely to get reeled in quicker.


Title: Re: How common is it for BPD to go back to ex spouse after b/u?
Post by: Heldfast on March 26, 2015, 12:28:57 PM
My fiancee left me after reconnecting with her ex (who she hated hated hated before the reconnect) at a mutual friend's wedding. She hadn't seen or spoken to him in seven years before that, cheated on me with him at the pre-wedding, kept texting him after, left the Virgin Islands and moved away to Seattle, in the winter, just to get with him, no warning, lied the whole time about why she was leaving. So yeah, they will not only go back to an ex, but you really have to admire the effort put in to get back to them. If she'd put it into the relationship and any problems she perceived with us... .


Title: Re: How common is it for BPD to go back to ex spouse after b/u?
Post by: Infern0 on March 26, 2015, 04:37:04 PM
It's not just BPD who do this. Most women look to the back catalog after a breakup


Title: Re: How common is it for BPD to go back to ex spouse after b/u?
Post by: ShadowIntheNight on March 26, 2015, 05:05:10 PM
If she stays in the closet, she won't be going back to her exH, he is remarried and they mutually hate one another. A former HS boyfriend, married. She even tried to cycle (not recycle as they were friends but never together) a gay friend. But he is an atheist and with her catholic background, that just wouldn't happen. She told me that. I suspect she put more folks in the pipeline when we were together. Since she says she won't ever be with a woman again, I won't be recycled again after 9.5 years together. So everyone is someone new from now on.


Title: Re: How common is it for BPD to go back to ex spouse after b/u?
Post by: newlifeBPDfree on March 26, 2015, 05:18:28 PM
Before we divorced my exBPDh and I broke up several times and got back together.

We have been divorced for over a year and throughout the year, even though he lived with a new girlfriend he was begging me to take him back. I finally gave in after his suicide attempt and I let him move back in. Everything deteriorated very quickly and I regret it very much. It basically made everything so much worse. He now moved in with the ex girlfriend that had before moving in with me... .