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Title: avoiding escalation Post by: brainsoup on November 29, 2023, 02:00:23 AM hello hello hello
sorry if the topic has been discussed before i am new here... my romantic partner exhibits BPD traits he has not been diagnosed we were recently supposed to attend a therapy meeting together as he is aware that 'something is wrong' (his own words) he had suggested the therapy, begging me to come back after 3 months without contact just before the meeting he ended up leaving as he has been doing compulsively for the better of 5 years (he must have 'left' at least 20 times). the reasons differ over time, but they always have to do with me, and enter a complete dead end i am very fond of this person. i questioned my love for him at times as it has been extremely painful, and though he never was physically abusive, he certainly was verbally violent over time he has asked me to not 'just let him go' when he leaves and exits the discussion, to try and stay in touch with him i am stepping on my pride here, and doing that, trying to reengage in discussion, but i really don't know if it's of any help as he his re-affirming some rather horrible things he said and heavily gaslighting by transforming the discussion i wan't to help our relationship but i also want to safeguard my mental health i am seeing a therapist and discussing my own health, but i don't feel like it's the right place to seek counsel as to how to deal with my relationship any advice? thanks! Title: Re: avoiding escalation Post by: Jabiru on November 29, 2023, 09:05:10 AM Hi and welcome :hi: It's up to you if you want to pursue the relationship. I can say that relationships with pwBPD can get better if you work at it but there will still be conflict that likely wouldn't occur in a "normal" relationship. It's a special needs kind of relationship like you've seen.
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