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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: pretty.penney on June 26, 2014, 11:17:05 PM



Title: Should I dare to hope?
Post by: pretty.penney on June 26, 2014, 11:17:05 PM
Hi

One of the ambassadors suggested I post here since I would like my relationship to continue.  My boyfriend of several months broke up with me rather abruptly because I did not text him for 27 hours - which I now feel horrible about.  The time we spent together the night prior to this was loving and affectionate... . he commented on our growing closeness, asked me to leave some things at his place so I wouldn't be constantly carrying them back and forth and said he wanted me to meet his best-friend (the only person he maintains a relationship with).

It took this unfortunate incident for me to realize what the day-long gap in communication meant to him:  abandonment.  He has expressed remorse and disappointment with himself in several odd, abrupt text messages.  But still will not see or speak to me or respond directly to my messages.  I have expressed that I still love him, that I care how he is feeling, that I miss him and finally, that I understand that he prefers not to communicate right now, but that I welcome him to contact me when he's ready.

He is a wonderful guy.  He's not vindictive, is shy and somewhat self-conscious. Based on some things he has said in the past, he realizes he has a problem and is not opposed to counseling.  I would be perfectly willing to support him in that, if the option was available.

It has been almost 4 (very long) weeks.  I'm doing what I need to do to go on with life, but I am pretty miserable.  It would be easier to "put it behind me" I guess, but I don't seem able to do that.  At the same time I'm afraid to hope that he will eventually re-engage.  I'm not expecting a prediction, but wondering if anyone else has had their BPD SO re-engage after this amount of time. Our relationship is only several months long, so that make me feel a little more pessimistic about it.

Thanks


Title: Re: Should I dare to hope?
Post by: Samuel S. on June 26, 2014, 11:45:11 PM
I haven't been a situation like yours; however, seeing that you would like the relationship with him to continue and seeing that he has not met with you face to face, it may be a good idea to suggest to him via. emailing or texting that you wish to meet with him face to face in order to discuss what's going on. Then, let him respond, if he so desires. Then, as hard as it may be, it is best to wait. The best of luck to you!



Title: Re: Should I dare to hope?
Post by: pretty.penney on June 26, 2014, 11:57:34 PM
Yes, that is pretty much where I am.

Thanks for your reply.