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Title: Looking for additional info Post by: Fooled Again! on April 26, 2021, 07:59:11 PM I got the answers to my initial question regarding how to stop getting fooled. The situation continues to unfold. She is acting stranger by the day. I am convinced she is trying to manipulate me with stories of a secret boyfriend etc...
She isn't getting the reaction she wants and I can tell it's driving her crazy. I'm not her boyfriend. I'm not her husband etc.. But we met about 4 years ago on a dating website. After 6 months of dating, I broke up with her because of unpredictable mood swings, passive aggressive behavior, temper flares, etc... A few months later we tried again and got the same result. A few months after that we decided to just be friends with no benefits and we got along great for three years. She knows I'm leaving the state in the spring and that seems to have been the trigger for this new adventure in BPD hell. Here's my new question: Our happy relationship seemed to mimic her sexless marriage of 20 some years. She blamed him but I seriously doubt it. That failed marriage was followed by a few failed boyfriend relationships and a second failed marriage to a convicted felon, which ended less than a year before we met. (A red flag that I stupidly shrugged off) Back to my question... do women with BPD do stuff like that? Do they try to recreate a past relationship? If yes, it feeds back to my theory she is playing twisted games to stop me from leaving. I'm trying to fully understand the situation for purposes of closure...and more red flags to look for in the future. THX Title: Re: LOOKING FOR ADDITIONAL INFO Post by: OutOfEgypt on May 07, 2021, 02:06:18 PM Hi FooledAgain
I'm not sure they intentionally try to recreate things. I would say its more that their behavior is so pathological in nature that it just happens. They are creatures of habit. I look at the various infidelities my ex-wife had and they were all the same basic story. She sought men -who although very different in many ways- had some similar quality to them. Even down to *how* she met and developed the relationship was almost identical who how she did with me (and the guy before me). Not trying to sound mean or cruel toward them, but they are predictable once you understand the narrative they live by. Title: Re: LOOKING FOR ADDITIONAL INFO Post by: Mutt on May 09, 2021, 09:02:49 PM I want to echo OutOfEgypt by saying that the same thing can be said with some non’s with how the repeat the same patterns in their r/s’s.
If a non is not cognizant of their behavior then how do they stop the cycle? |