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Title: Was she ever attracted to me? Post by: worndown99 on December 08, 2014, 02:20:34 AM My exBPDgf and I dated for about four months. We got physical very early and the physical attraction was very strong at first at least I thought it was. About three months into the relationship I couldn't take her mood swings anymore, we took a vacation together and after I dropped her off I ignored her for about a day, told her I was not happy in the relationship and was leaving. She called me about forty times, and of course my dumb self took her back.
Fast forward less then three weeks later she breaks up with me out of the blue. Tells me she was losing feelings and told me she thought it was just a "phase" ... I'm almost certain that me threatening to leave her was the trigger that caused her to detach herself from the relationship. she also stopped being sexual with me right around this time. About a month after we split she starts contacting me again and of course I didn't know about BPD at this point. I still had feelings for her and suggested the idea of being friends with benefits even though from what I knew about her she had no history of doing this with any of her previous exes before me. While she didn't agree to the sex she didn't exactly say no either, she agreed to meet up with me and spend a few hours together. We decided to spend the day together and I could tell she just was not feeling it. I must say that my appearance has not changed from the start of the relationship, if anything I look much better and I went out of my way to look my best for her during that meet up. At first what hurt me the most is the idea that my ex just isn't attracted to me anymore. This makes me ask the questions- 1. are borderlines ever physically attracted to their lovers in the first place? Or is it possible that when they find a host to suck the life out of and feed their narcissistic supply, their mind tricks them into thinking they are attracted to someone they normally wouldn't be? Title: Re: Was she ever attracted to me? Post by: ReluctantSurvivor on December 08, 2014, 04:43:29 AM They are until they aren't. Everything they feel is intense. The feelings are not stable or consistent. By nature pwBPD are erratic and that it one of the main reasons they are unable to maintain relationships.
Title: Re: Was she ever attracted to me? Post by: worndown99 on December 08, 2014, 02:44:56 PM They are until they aren't. Everything they feel is intense. The feelings are not stable or consistent. By nature pwBPD are erratic and that it one of the main reasons they are unable to maintain relationships. I feel you. I guess it makes sense how someone with BPD could lose the physical attraction during the devaluation phase. |