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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: reluctanthusband on February 02, 2015, 05:05:41 PM



Title: Progress? Or just lucky?
Post by: reluctanthusband on February 02, 2015, 05:05:41 PM
So we have an almost 13yr old daughter that is quite forgetful sometimes... .Well a lot of the time.  I understand but keep on her to remind her of the important ones like the things that can cost us money or hurt our animals(not feeding them).  Well she forgets something I have recently reminded her about numerous times in the past few weeks.  I called her down from her room and asked her why it wasn't done and how important it is.  My uBPDw goes into this defense mode like I am being all sorts of unreasonable.  I was stern with our daughter, but not unreasonable.

My wife begins to say things like "why are you yelling at her" "you forget things all the time".  She does this a lot with our kids when I am trying to enforce a discipline boundary with them.  I'm the big mean dictator Drill instructor when it comes to discipline(in her eyes because I am a Marine). Well I kind of lost it because she was taking me out at the knees WHILE I am trying to discipline our daughter.  I raised my voice looked her straight in the face and said "You will not take my failures in anything as a reason that I cannot discipline our children" she just stopped talking and started surfing face book!  Nothing no remark, no escalation, Nothing.  I told our daughter not to forget again and sent her off.  I was almost dumbstruck she just went quiet.  Like it didn't happen.  I returned to making dinner and it never came up again.  What's more astounding about it was she was on her period which usually means it gets worse.

Things have been on the upswing so to say lately but this one was out of the blue.  So is this progress or did she/I just make a good decision?