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Title: How do I respond if his daughter is taken into care Post by: Lifewriter16 on June 17, 2016, 04:48:37 AM In a 20 minutes, a UK court is almost certainly going to issue a interim care order to take my BPDxbf's daughter and her two stepbrothers into care. My BPDxbf is very likely to let me know the results by text or email. How on earth am I to respond? I don't want to be cold and heartless. He could be suicidal. It is likely to trigger all his abandonment issues. He could rage and he does get abusive. I'm attempting to detach. I live on my own but do have a friend staying over tonight so I have support if he decides to turn up on the doorstep.
Any ideas? Thanks, in anticipation. LWx Title: Re: How do I respond if his daughter is taken into care Post by: LilMe on June 17, 2016, 05:41:28 AM How sad for him and his children, Lifewriter16! Since you are trying to detach (right?), may I suggest that it is not your problem? If he emails or texts, validate and show compassion, but use boundaries to keep things calm. If he shows up raging or is suicidal, please call the authorities. I can see how the caretaker/codependent me would think that is cold and heartless, but in reality it would be what is best for him (and you)!
Please update how things turn out for the children, him, and you. If the children's situation is unsafe, it may be best for them to be removed. All we can do is pray for their protection and healing. Many times what seems to be a bad turn of events, turns out to be a good thing. |