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My friend ditched me -for good. I want to tell her the thruth now that she wants me out of her life for good. What shall I do? I still care for her very much and also tried really hard.

Will it help her or hurt her for you to tell her?

probably hurt her, but I read on the psych forum that a girl realised she had BPD because an ex told her... .

But mostly I want to be seen as whom I am someone who cares for her... .

I felt blamed and not cared for, but I realise it's intimacy isssues that drives us apart. It's sad she just can't say 'I want a relationship with you but I can't' then I felt respected and be cared for. Does she care? Does she want it? And especially with me?

How do you deal with intimacy issues with your BPD partner? My friend couldn't give or recieve any love any more... .Can she again to me one day?

I guess it was difficult for her to be intimate with me because I know of her issues (because i once was intimate with her) she tries so hard to ignore and surpress?

What was the reason she ended things?

How do you know this is not a push-pull and she'll try to reconnect in the future?

You have very little control of whether she sees your actions as "caring." Be true to you.

One of the first major breakdowns with H and me was sex

Our last time was mid March. That definitely contributed to the rest of the breakdown as well. A vicious cycle. He simply could not get outside his head enough to perform and he blamed me.

she needs to handle this info in therapy.

BPD protects itself with denial!

I don't know, she was very cold hearted and seemed very sure, also she found a replacemet, but of course it's BPD it all change again, and she said it a few weeks ago too, but still responded to a message of mine so she kinda broke that, she is not really consistent. But she prolly will not contact me now for months I think.

But really how long do I have to wait around for her? I'm starting to get a bit sick and tired of the disrespect, the sarcastic attitude while I'm someone who truly loves her. I'd love to tell her it's all me me me with her and the rest can choke, and then expect after this terrible cold hearted uncaring behavior she can walk into my life again?

That's the problem she isn't in therapy ... .because she is in denial... .

you cant change that.

if you do you will just get the blame.

you can only help when it is requested.

you can offer but it has to be requested when they want it

Yes you're right :) That's what I decided to do a couple of months back. But I have to remind myself of this because our relationship just doesn't seem to work... .And I want it to work... .She keeps having distorted thoughts, keeps running away, keeps blaming me and has impulsive behavior that hurts me but relieves her temporarily.

Oh I remember now why it seemed so certain to me, because she said we can't mean anything good to each other anymore. She had doubts about this earlier, now she seemed to have made up her mind.

crystal ball distorted thought and black and white thinking.

she has to get away from your love! 

its tragic!

Yes indeed the black and whiteness, still so prevalent I had overlooked that, and a distorted thought indeed (crystall ball never heard of before, is this a known term? Or something you came up with :))

But why does she has to get away from my love though, I mean I understand love means pain for her, but I truly want to know if I still, deep down in her heart, mean something to her, she means a lot to me...