BPDFamily.com

This is the history of my ex (not diagnosed... . at least she never told me she was). Does anyone think this sounds like Borderline?

-She lost her job in 2009 and gambled away her savings (said her ADHD coupled with the "lights and noises" of the slot machines fueled her addiction)---racked up $12K, $7k and $9k in credit card debt on top of losing her savings and 401K. When she would win she would hand out $100 bills to people (regardless of her losses) because she felt sorry for them.

-When she breaks up with someone she often impulsively moves to a new state to get away from them.

-She has been known to put a restraining order on an ex and change her number (or so she says) but ironically is "friends" with them soon after the fact or was "talking to them as friends" during our relationship (her fallback person?)

-Has a history of breaking up with an ex to "steal" an old ex back from someone only to go back to the previous ex and cheat again. Ironically the ex she cheated on twice with---10yrs ago is who she just left me for. Have fun with that, Girlfriend!

-Has had a "seedy" relationship/sexual past. Met her current love (former ex) in a whips and chains BDM club.

-Had a relationship with a married woman and then when that didn't work out she shacked up with the married woman's husband.

-Had a baby out of wedlock. Tricked the father (who was married to another woman) to sign adoption forms after saying she would stay with him (he ended up leaving his wife). Then she left him having the signed forms and put the baby up for adoption.

-Married a man who she met while pregnant with the baby she adopted out (not same as the man above) and "aborted" their baby after an argument. (he almost comitted suicide and she told me she found him immature and selfish to even attempt that).

-Has a weird jagged scar on her arm that she told me was a welding burn. It never looked right to me (I now believe after reading more about this illness it was from cutting).

-Would start an argument with me before an event that was important to me and would end up not going or would result in her "breaking up" with me (Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween party).

-Would break up with me saying she was "done" and never wanted to be with me or talk to me again only to call me days later (or email) after I implemented NC... . not apologizing but begging to see me with the excuse her mind was "all over the place" or she was under stress.

-Blamed most of her actions on having ADHD. Then, in her last "rage" where she pulled my hair and spit at me for not having her house key handy, told me that she had "frontal lobe problems" and I was driving her insane. After abusing me she called me an hour later hyper ventillating and telling me she was sorry and "wanted me".

-Used lots of psych terms on me I believe people had said to her: Said I "pushed and pulled her" and was manipulative with "knee jerk reactions" and that I kept trying to "circle her into a toxic relationship".

-Said her ex before me was a stalker and sex addict and that she had to change her number, move and file a restraining order. Her ex was a prison psychologist. Looked her up and turns out she specializes in... . get this... . wait for it... .

Borderline Personality Disorder!

I now believe she wasn't the stalker she was painted to be. When things were bad between us she would say she should go back to this woman because she was "better than me".

- Was estranged from her father that was supposedly physically and verbally abusive.

-Said her mother was not the typical mother and didn't really care much about what happened in her life.

-Painted me as a nut to her sister who I work with (oy). Sister would reprimand me that I needed to leave her alone and stop tormenting her when I wasn't doing anything.

-told me a month ago her ex who was visiting wanted to "kiss" her. I now believe it was guilt and it happened.

-When leaving me and running to her ex a week later she told me she loved me very much but this was her chance to get her partner back after 10yrs of being separated (but they stayed phone buddies) both reside in different states.


If you knew me personally my life pales in comparison to her history and normally I wouldn't even be remotely attracted to someone like this but as we got closer I felt really bad for her.

Yeah my good heart. . When I read what I write (as above) I see she thrives on chaos.

Everything makes sense. I think I wanted to "save" her.

My exBPDw never had a professional diagnosis. I had a list, just like yours. If it quacks like a duck... .

That's a stories history she has.  Most people probably would have ran from her. 



This tends to get people into relationships with inappropriate partners.

Maybe look at that more - it could help in partner selection.  Imagine going thru this again 

Thanks, Mango.  Yeah I know.  It took 11mo to find all that out though.  If I knew on our first date there wouldn't have been a second.