BPDFamily.com

Brief story about my BPD Ex Girlfriend. My ex 4 kids, 3 different fathers, 1 dead and the others no contact with. Kids been taken off her. Doesn't work, on tablets for anxiety etc. Very OCD always cleaning and changing the outlay of her house. Lost her Mum when young, her father distant and abusive, one of her brothers killed himself, she blows hot and cold, every criteria for BPD of that I'm sure.

Not exactly a catch  but we first met last year and when we first met there was no introductions, she was kissing me straight away and straight into the passion, non stop. A couple of months in she started going hot and cold. All over me one week, getting the I love you's then the not replying, answering calls etc and so this pattern went on. She wasn't a shouter, not arguementative, nothing like that, just the silent treatment which I find worse. Anyway I had this last November, after a particulary loving night together, then going cold on me a few days later, she practically ghosted me. I wished her well and deleted her off my Facebook and never contacted her again. I later found out she started seeing someone else and he wasn't exactly the best looking bloke so naturally felt insulted.2 weeks ago she requested me has a friend on Facebook. I accepted has I thought if I declined it makes it look like it bothers me which it does a bit but refuse to show any kinds of weakness. What is her game, why friend request me ? I sent her a brief non needy message, she replied though we haven't spoke since. I used to like all her statuses and pics when we were together, now I haven't liked or commented on anything. How she portrays herself on Facebook ( The poor me, I'm a lovely person, depressed statuses) to the real life cold bitch are totally different. So what are peoples take on it. Is it because she doesn't like me ignoring her back and shes testing me ? No mention recently of the bloke she was seeing

Personally, I discontinued my FB account as soon as I decided to divorce my uBPDstbxw.  It's been about three months, and I think it was a great decision.

Not only do I not get any updates about her life, or wonder about why she is or isn't interacting with me, I also don't see any updates from our mutual friends, or friends who are in great relationships, or anything that might make me start thinking longingly and positively about a relationship that took a great deal of courage and pain to finally leave.

So I guess in answer to your question -- who cares why's she's behaving this way on FB?  The only person you have any control over is yourself.

I don't use any social media, so can't comment on the mindset however I do have a question.  Do you want her in your life and does having her as a Facebook friend constitute that to you?

Love and light x

To be honest she could be a lovely warm person when together but blow hot and cold and literally ghost me when not. My moods swing from missing the good times with her and wanting to punish her for the way she discarded me and move on to someone else. Has I say since she added me back after a initial non needy message I haven't liked or commented on any of her posts so don't know whether she added me because she wants attention of me or what. Being honest thnough after the way she treated me I could putting it bluntly only be back in it for the friends with benefits. Ive found Rick Reynolds work and he comes out with interesting stuff

What insight do you feel you've gained?  Do you want to share what you've picked up that was helpful?

Love and light x