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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Sammygirl8 on September 07, 2020, 01:34:56 PM



Title: Heartbroken over what happened
Post by: Sammygirl8 on September 07, 2020, 01:34:56 PM
I have known my bpd ex boyfriend (undiagnosed) for many years. Started off as friends.  2 years ago that changed and we became more then friends and “fell in love” or so I thought. In the beginning things were great. One day he decided he wanted to go back to his ex and left. I hadn’t heard from him for 2 months. After 2 months I needed to contact him for a work situation and fell right back into the relationship.  One year later I got mad at him and called him a name (over the phone) that he didn’t like and he sent me all these weird texts I didn’t understand and then blocked me.   No contact, blocked me from being able to call or text him and all social media.   A week later he called telling me he wanted to be friends... a day later I fell back into the relationship.  He always seemed to have two sides, overly loving and amazing or cold. I never knew why. If I asked him if he was ok he would get mad and tell me I was “analyzing him” and then would act even colder and more distant until he would snap out of it as I would call it.  This last time just happened a few days ago.  He asked me to go away with him as he had to be away for work so I Flew to where he was.  We were supposed to have a 3 week amazing time. The first 10 days were fantastic (except for one minor disagreement, as all normal couples have)
A few days later we had what I would consider another small argument and again, being mad I called him a name he didn’t like and he told me to leave but I didn’t (I was in a city alone, knew no one, was a 14 hour car ride or 3 hour flight away from home and my trip was booked for another 1+week) so he left for the night.  The next morning he came back and told me we were finished and if I didn’t leave (the hotel) he would.  I apologized immensely and explained what upset me and told him how sorry I was (although again, I didn’t think this was anything more then a normal couple having a minor argument) and I told him I thought he was an amazing person and the name I called him was just out of anger and I didn’t mean it whatsoever.   He said we were done and and to leave.   I had to change flights, take ubers and get home that day.   I was devastated.   When I got home I sent him a text telling him how much I love him and understood why he got upset but to ask me to leave the way He did was wrong.  He texted me back 2 days later and told me “we are done, have no relationship, but that he won’t block me from his life like he has in the past and if I want I could text him” ...well, that just confused me more!.   I’m at a loss. As I write this I feel like I am talking about a pathetic stranger and not myself but I can’t lie, I’m heartbroken.   


Title: Re: Heartbroken over what happened and need advice
Post by: Sammygirl8 on September 07, 2020, 01:57:56 PM
I have known my bpd ex boyfriend (undiagnosed) for many years. Started off as friends.  2 years ago that changed and we became more then friends and “fell in love” or so I thought. In the beginning things were great. One day he decided he wanted to go back to his ex and left. I hadn’t heard from him for 2 months. After 2 months I needed to contact him for a work situation and fell right back into the relationship.  One year later I got mad at him and called him a name (over the phone) that he didn’t like and he sent me all these weird texts I didn’t understand and then blocked me.   No contact, blocked me from being able to call or text him and all social media.   A week later he called telling me he wanted to be friends... a day later I fell back into the relationship.  He always seemed to have two sides, overly loving and amazing or cold. I never knew why. If I asked him if he was ok he would get mad and tell me I was “analyzing him” and then would act even colder and more distant until he would snap out of it as I would call it.  This last time just happened a few days ago.  He asked me to go away with him as he had to be away for work so I Flew to where he was.  We were supposed to have a 3 week amazing time. The first 10 days were fantastic (except for one minor disagreement, as all normal couples have)
A few days later we had what I would consider another small argument and again, being mad I called him a name he didn’t like and he told me to leave but I didn’t (I was in a city alone, knew no one, was a 14 hour car ride or 3 hour flight away from home and my trip was booked for another 1+week) so he left for the night.  The next morning he came back and told me we were finished and if I didn’t leave (the hotel) he would.  I apologized immensely and explained what upset me and told him how sorry I was (although again, I didn’t think this was anything more then a normal couple having a minor argument) and I told him I thought he was an amazing person and the name I called him was just out of anger and I didn’t mean it whatsoever.   He said we were done and and to leave.   I had to change flights, take ubers and get home that day.   I was devastated.   When I got home I sent him a text telling him how much I love him and understood why he got upset but to ask me to leave the way He did was wrong.  He texted me back 2 days later and told me “we are done, have no relationship, but that he won’t block me from his life like he has in the past and if I want I could text him” ...well, that just confused me more!.   I’m at a loss. As I write this I feel like I am talking about a pathetic stranger and not myself but I can’t lie, I’m heartbroken.