BPDFamily.com

When xw and I lived together she was an overt emotional abuser, after she left she was much more covert, sly and devious. As I always say, she left and for 8 years we had a sexual r/s, did things together with our son, I was at her house 2 or 3 nights a week, maybe more. It seemed like a r/s but it wasn't, controlled my access to s10, she Was still abusing me emotionally just in a different way. Had no intention of being with me as husband and wife, would quit talking to me for 2 or 3 weeks that out of the blue get a text and back in bed we were and the whole confusing cycle would start again. What usually pushed her over the edge was me suggesting she show me affection or that we go to counselling.

There's only the stuff you know about and the stuff you don't.  Call it overt/covert or passive-aggressive/aggressive it doesn't really matter.  What you can be sure of is they will use whatever means necessary to exert control over you to get what they want.

Wow... your BPD/narc xw is producing , directing, and starring in her own BPD home horror movie. In order for their movie to be a success, the co-stars, we nons, must never question them on their lies, over-look their cheating, never tell them we love them with true feeling, or offer any true intimacy, or they will tell us when to leave and come back, always do for, and agree with them, and become sniveling cowards when they get angry, in other words, we, and our real core trauma issues, do not matter, we must be as shallow and fake as they are.  

GlennT, xw was shallow and fake, I became shallow and fake and a sniveling coward around her but xw had nothing but disrespect for me for becoming a coward. They project what they dislike about them selves on to us non's and than dislike that part of us they projected.
   And it was a hum dinger of a horror movie xw produced.