BPDFamily.com

My sister has BPD. She was officially diagnosed in 2013. She is 44,unemployed, a mother of a 4 year old, and they are living with my husband and I. I am quite older than her and have 2 grown children of my own. Our mother died of lung cancer in 2007 and she has been on a downward spiral since. We have 2 more sisters so 4 girls total all from the same parents who were married until my mother died. Our father is living but has spent thousands of dollars on her In Rehabs since the age of 14. He is DONE! My other sisters are at a loss and help us with child care and prayer. I am a Christian with deep love for the Lord. I am also a first grade teacher and have been at the same school for 23 years. My biggest struggle is Enabling vs Grace for her affliction. In 2017 she was arrested 2 times. Once for shoplifting and the mout resent was Christmas night for possession of marijuana.  My husband and I bailed her out of jail Christmas night and paid to have her car out of the impound. Financially she is draining my bank account. She smokes so I provide cigarettes, I pay for her suboxon, I provide gas for a car she has on loan from her daughters narsasstic father. We pay for all her child’s clothing and kindergarten and we want to take care of the child. She is the driving source of this whole situation.  In 2013 i brought the child hone from the hospital when she was one were old. the baby suffered from withdrawal from subutex. a safer version of suborn for pregnant mothers. We are her daughters only hope in life.

My sister weighs 90 lbs, threatens to kill herself often. She cries all day most days and I try to help her cheer her up. She was in therapy but has stopped. She is on Medicaid and has no source of income. She has prescriptions for Kolonopin, suboxin, lexapro, abilify, and adderall. I  am not sure what else. I’m exhausted! Just need some guidance from others. I myself have been placed on an antidepressant and it has helped. I teach school all day and rush home to save my precious niece from her crazy mother. Thanks so much!
Hopeful,
Daisy May

Hi Daisy May! 

Welcome to our site and online family! You sound like you could use a hug. 

I am thankful that you are there for this little one, and that you know how much she needs you. Thank goodness and kudos to you for doing your best.  |iiii How long did you say they have been living with you?

A couple of questions for you. Are you in T for yourself? I would strongly suggest it to help you, and one really important thing is to remember that you must be kind to yourself so you don't burn out. You are shouldering a lot of burden right now. Is the dad in the picture at all or financially responsible?

It is tough to walk that line between love, enablement and grace. If you could do what you want to do in this situation without worrying what your sister wants or needs, what would that look like to you? Have you tried any boundary setting in the past?

There are so many other members here who struggle daily, just like you. My mom was an uBPD. I struggle daily as I recover from that, and I'm making great progress. You seem pretty aware, and that will be such a help to you.

Looking forward to hearing more!

 
Wools