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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: NarcsEverywhere on June 25, 2023, 05:38:44 AM



Title: Tools that help me stay sane and grounded.
Post by: NarcsEverywhere on June 25, 2023, 05:38:44 AM
The deep meditations always cause me to get insane trauma to come up. So what I’d suggest to people is exercise every day, emotional energy is physical energy and helps dissipate some of it, weights lifting, walking and chores, etc help a lot. Learning to meditate on the body is essential to help get grounded, because your body is always with you, and it’s the easiest thing to meditate on, once you can do that, you can do it on dishes, eating, sounds, sights, etc. whenever aware it’s important to describe intensity and quality of awareness, it helps you detach from them. Might try walking meditation soon, as I think that’s insanely useful, since your feet are on the ground. In my opinion it’s better to meditate towards life, not away from it. Also, adding variation wakes the mind up, as does making varied choices.


Title: Re: Tools that help me stay sane and grounded.
Post by: Newyoungfather on June 25, 2023, 10:14:38 AM
Hello NarcsEverywhere,
The walking part really helps me especially when its out in nature.  I also find that listening to music helps a lot.  I had a bpd partner two relationships ago and I found that all my hobbies that I gave up for the relationship I started to do again and that helps.


Title: Re: Tools that help me stay sane and grounded.
Post by: Huntinfool123 on June 25, 2023, 04:45:21 PM
Hey NarcsEverywhere.

Thanks for the tip.  I have never practiced meditation.  I have read it helps many times.  I should give it a try.  Where would one learn about how to begin meditation?


Title: Re: Tools that help me stay sane and grounded.
Post by: capecodling on June 26, 2023, 11:09:44 AM
I take mindful / presence walks in nature, sometimes listening to books like “the power of now” while I do it.  In my opinion, this is the most powerful healing tool at our disposal, practicing being fully present and feeling your pain (with awareness) as often as possible throughout every day.


Title: Re: Tools that help me stay sane and grounded.
Post by: tina7868 on June 27, 2023, 03:59:32 PM
Excerpt
Thanks for the tip.  I have never practiced meditation.  I have read it helps many times.  I should give it a try.  Where would one learn about how to begin meditation?

Just to chime in with my experience when it comes to meditation (although I am sure others can provide more ressources!): You can find very basic guided meditations of Youtube . If anything, there is an overwhelming number of such meditations, so I would start with the shorter ones (5-10 minutes) that focus on ´mindfulness´. Studies show that meditating even for this short amount of time on a regular basis can help with anxiety.

I personally enjoy breathwork as well! I recommend trying out a diversity of practices to see what works for you.


Title: Re: Tools that help me stay sane and grounded.
Post by: NarcsEverywhere on June 27, 2023, 09:27:44 PM
Hey Tina. Oh, I used to meditate like 8-12 hours a day, I know meditation like the back of my hand, finding the recipe that gives me balance is the hard part.

Huntinfool123, I suggest checking my sexual thread titled "They sure screw you up sexually", the meditation on that one has all the tools someone in this position would need, basically mindfulness of the body, and then a version of loving kindness, and some dispelling of judgments that might keep you down, stuff like that. Other than that, I just highly suggest describing sensations and feelings a bit, if you feel overwhelmed by them, as that causes detachment, and can moderate the feeling.

Hey capecoddling, yeah, I plan on walking, haven't even been getting outside much, but I am easing into it. Really have to get my home life in order a bit, and myself, before shoving myself out there works. But I definitely enjoy the scenery, and birds and stuff around here.

Newyoung Father, yeah, I enjoy music, that and reading are the easiest things to focus on. I love TV, but it's been a huge struggle to focus on, sometimes I catch the news for a few minutes or something.