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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Riffa on August 02, 2022, 11:23:08 AM



Title: My bpder
Post by: Riffa on August 02, 2022, 11:23:08 AM
Hello and thank you for allowing me to connect with this group.

I really don’t know where to start


Title: Re: My bpder
Post by: TiredMom88 on August 03, 2022, 01:05:55 PM
  :hi:

I just joined myself. Did anything in particular cause you to sign up today?

For me, it's that last night I got into a little fight with my 16 year old (she cannot officially be diagnosed with BPD due to her age, but she has very strong tendencies) after a long summer. I work from home, and she refused to really do anything all summer long.

Last night, after biting my tongue for so long, I let something out about being frustrated that nothing is changing in terms of her mental health. She has two therapists, a psychiatrist, and attends an ED group. She has all kinds of excuses for not doing anything the therapists recommend, even though she literally had nothing but time this summer. One therapist even sent her short, safe youtube links to try yoga but she wouldn't even try a 10 minute video.

She is very mean to her 10 year old sibling and I know she thinks I always take the sibling's side, but it borders on bullying (the most emotionally fragile bully I've ever known). And of course when I call her on it she acts like I'm the bully. I have tried to gently remind her that perhaps, if she acts like this around her peers, maybe that is why she is having trouble making friends, and perhaps, if she practices kindness and patience with her sibling, it will make it easier at school too.

I need her to start taking some control and personal responsibility, and I know I've enabled her too much. She has significant trauma in her background and somehow her cPTSD has morphed into BPD. It is hard to find other parents of BPD children, I suppose due to all the stigma. I don't care about the stigma, I just want my daughter to have the great future she was meant to have.

Anyway, school started today after a long summer so I'm trying to be optimistic that this year will be better than last year. At least I have a chance to breathe now that she's out of the house and try to figure out some new solutions. 

Sorry if I hijacked your thread. I'd be interested to hear what brought you here today!