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Title: New here. Post by: bpulaczewski on January 20, 2017, 12:42:50 PM I'm looking for some support, advice about living with someone who has BPD. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride. My husband is talking about ending things once again and we just got married in March. I feel like I'm always the one who has to change to save us. I'm not looking to end my marriage. I love him no matter what. But I really need some support and advice because I'm at a lost and it seems as if I'm always saying or doing the wrong things.
Title: Re: New here. Post by: Mutt on January 20, 2017, 03:43:44 PM Hi bpulaczewski,
*welcome* I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I can relate with that walking on eggshells feeling when we talk to our pwBPD. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through difficulties, I'm glad that you decided to join us, it helps to talk to people that can relate with you and offer you guidance and support. Feelings = facts to a pwBPD, facts followed by feeling to nons. The way that we communicate can invalidate highly sensitive people, a pwBPD is highly sensitive, S.E.T can feel unconventional when talk that way, it's like anything else, it takes time and practice. Something else comes to mind a pwBPD have an innate fear of abandonment imagined or real, everyone's pwBPD is a different person, with different personalities and severity of the disorder, but he could be testing the boundaries thinking that you're going to abandon him if he pushes far enough.I'm speculating of course, I'm just saying that it's a possibility. It helps to read as much as you can about the disorder, you'll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time. Communication Skills - Don't Be Invalidating (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating) PS *) You'll find the lessons on the right side of the board -----------> |