BPDFamily.com

Hurt and Angry that my 22 y.o daughter in a fit of blackout rage, punched me in my head multiple times and has cost me the sight in my left eye. I think that she wants me dead and I am desperate to get her away from me. I don't want her to have a police record but I am so sick and tired of the abuse, her lack of remorse and her refusal to either get help or take responsibility for her actions. I live in terror. She blames me for everything. I haven't been the best parent, but I worked myself to death to give her a better life than I had. I am so desperate - I am numb.

Hi Tired and Afraid;

Welcome. You're in the right place for struggling with the chaos and violence that often comes with having an adult child with BPD.

Your first priority is allowed to be you. She is an adult and it is time for her to take on not only the benefits, but also the responsibilities and consequences that come with that.

Your safety is of paramount importance. One way to think of it is -- how can we possibly be in a position to help our loved ones, if we are not stable and healthy ourselves? It's OK to put yourself first. Then you will have space and breathing room to know how to proceed in the most loving way (which is often not the "nicest" way).

Are you in a safe location right now? Out of the house, in the house with a door locked, at a relative's house, somewhere else where you will not be abused?

Let us know how today is going for you. We can take it one step at a time as you work out what you want to do to change what's going on in your family.

Write back whenever is workable for you;

kells76

Hi Tired and Afraid
I have read your post several times, wondering what to say in response to such a terrible situation.

Is there just the two of you in the house? Or does your daughter live elsewhere? Has she been physically violent before?

Over the years I have been punched in the head twice, but losing the sight of an eye is just dreadful.

Do you know if your daughter is using any drugs at the moment? My dd was most violent when using ice.

I can understand your not wanting dd to get a police record. I was the same. But somehow there needs to be some sort of intervention. Is there a mental health crisis unit you can call on?

Involving the police might help your dd - I don't think anything would proceed if you didn't press charges (you could check this out beforehand perhaps).

You have chosen a good name -'tired' and 'afraid'. This is the lot of so many of us who journey with a bpd child. There is the constant chaos and the various forms of abuse that we have to deal with day by day.

After this event you would be in shock I think, and the pressure you are under is too enormous. Can you get some support to guide you in this awful situation?

Thinking of you and hoping there is someone in your life who can support and guide you.