BPDFamily.com

Thank you for listening... .

My udBPD wife has serious depression and avoidance personality. She attends therapy in which she shares her life problems and inability to get along with others. While happy she was proactive to seek help, I question her improvement.

2 weeks ago she was given Abilify in addition to her fluoxitine. Without saying more, she is a totally different person. While usually shy and quiet she is now louder, talks to strangers and cut off her waist length hair to boyish short after seeing a coworker with the same do. We have had more sex in the past weeks than the last 6 months. In addition to these changes, I have also tallied reciepts for nearly 2k in clothes and other stuff.  She has also shown empathy toward family members long painted black. She actually seems happy.

I am scared to death. I want to believe this is her so bad. I worry this is going to back fire and be worse than before. This is the person I fell in love with and it kills me to feel these connected feelings for fear of heart break. It is easy to put up a wall when you being treated bad, but scary when things seem so good.

Please give me some feedback.

I feel like writing her T and explaining this... .I also feel like leaving it alone. I cannot put in words how awesome it feels to feel loved.

Two THOUSAND dollars for a clothes? This would be alarming to me, but then again I have no idea what kind of money you're making.



I hope it works out for you, but that sounds like mania... .and what goes up... .

Fractured,

Can you define mania? As it related to BPD... .

I think this is biplolar disease. ( with or without BPD but the main issues is bipolar)

I am going to chime in with the mania explanation. Look up mania in bipolar disease: hypersexuality, talking all the time, crazy spending. Depression is part of bipolar, but there is no mania stage with just depression. I'm not a mental health professional but look this up, it is classic. It may also clarify the diagnosis.

The treatment for this is something like lithium. If you only treat the depression it won't help the mania. Cut off her credit cards quick and get her to the T- and tell the T all of it. Show receipts as proof. Good luck.

I couldn't explain it better than this.


I personally would be weary of adding meds to fight medication side effects. All of this can lead to a cocktail of meds to the point where you no longer know what's the person and what's the meds.

It can get messy... .

Wendy,

Always value your answers... .will a BPD experience what I described? She has 7/9 BPD traits... .and T says she is not bipolar

The T does not know that this happened.

There can be a lot of overlap with different mental illnesses. But bipolar is its own diagnosis. BPD does not involve mania.

Don't blame the T. BPD and depression can look a lot like bipolar and depression. But this changes things. The depression has been treated, now she has mania.  This changes the picture and the T should consider this.

I am shaking my head... .

Ok.

Did the Abilify trigger this?

This is a psychiatric issue- needs a psychiatrist to diagnose and treat, not a general practitioner. The medication for this is specific to bipolar.

She is. T is with a Dr

Bipolar involves ups ans downs, mania and depression. Some people linger in the depressive state, and it can look like depression,  but it needs a different medication. The abilify did not cause this, it was there in the first place, but it lifted her out of depression. For someone with depression they would feel better, but for bipolar, the manic phase is already there, and if not depressed, they can be manic. The treatment is aimed at stabilizing their mood- not too much up or down.

I would call the doctor- now, or whoever is on call and let them know what is going on. They should tell you what to do as far as the Abilify and also make a decision of how she needs to be seen by one of them.

It is hard to convince someone they need treatment in the manic phase as they can feel great when they are in it. But the manic phase doesn't last forever and they can fall into depression. You are going to be the one to take care of this- likely she won't want to.

Did Abilify trigger this? I don't know if it is possible to know, but it is something to ask her doctor.

Because people with bipolar can have mood swings and issues related to depression, it can look like BPD when someone is in the depressive stage. Some people with bipolar remain in the depressive stage. A manic episode is new information and it can be helpful in deciding the right treatment.

Since people with bipolar cycle up and down, it is hard to tell what, if any, role Abilify has in this. It could be that it was her time to cycle up into mania anyway. I would ask her doctor to be sure.

This new information could lead to the right treatment. Bipolar isn't an easy thing to deal with, but neither is BPD. However, getting the right treatment for your wife could result in her feeling better.

Also, keep in mind that if this is true mania ( she needs an evaluation as soon as possible), it is an unstable mental state. As much as you like it that she is this way ( except for the credit card bills) , Abilify is not likely to keep it this way since mania is a sign of mental illness, not  mental health.

I can't imagine that a spouse would be unhappy with all that sexual desire, but hypersexuality is a symptom of mania. It may look a lot like being painted white-the idealization phase, but that didn't last either. What can follow mania is depression.

What you want, ideally, is a loving, happy, mentally stable wife, not the erratic ups and downs. She needs to be evaluated and on the right treatment. 

Please post and let us all here know how it goes.

Abilify definitely changes personality.  My girlfriend lost all interest in social interaction.  When she started on it, she got everything done on her to do list, organized every drawer in the house and was overall very diligent and happy about her accomplishments.  She had to get off of it because she lost any interest in social interaction.  She was bored talking with best friends and wanted to go organize stuff.  It was a double edged sword, she liked being productive, but didn't want to lose her friendships or interest in a social life. 

It is so ironic this old thread was bumped this week... .

Back story 2015.

After Abilify and mania... .sure enough, my wife recycled back into deep depression after it stopped working. So imagine going from a sexy outgoing queen type, back to a frigid waif/hermit in a matter of three weeks. Her end depression was worst than before she started it. She was put on about 5 different meds and basically numb acting. No BPD rage, but also no care.

I had a session by myself with her T and explained everything, including what I felt was BPD. She goes on to say, that my wife was never hospitalized for self harm, etc, and eventually she dismissed the other 7 BPD traits as depression. Her take on BPD is really dated and old school, as she told how a BPD is low functioning, etc. The following week, the prescribing Dr. recommended my wife to another Dr, stating he "had to many patients". Coincidence? She still has the same T, but different Dr, who stopped the A and added another med.

Currently 12/2016.

About two weeks ago, she was put back on A. I was unaware, except for noticing another run of spending sprees and her talking to strangers again. I asked if she was back on A, and she told me "yes, about a week ago". I was then accused of going through her meds, etc. LOL. This time there is no mania per se and no increase in sex. Still totally disconnected to me, but more out going to strangers. I thought my communication tools were working wonders, as she has been nicer, even to black listed family. It was just the A... .sigh.