BPDFamily.com

Hey all,

Nice to meet you :)

So my story briefly

I am dating a LD ( and I do mean long distance... .Canada to Australia... .) gf and she is amazing. She even TOLD me straight up ( well 2 weeks in that she suffers from BPD but gets treatment for it when she needs it.

Long story short

We met on a facebook gaming group last year, and we hit it off in Oct. Started Dating in Dec and have been perfectly fine.

Now as I mentioned before. she knows she has BPD, she doesn't hide it and she does her best to fight it.

In march we got into a few fights, and we took " space " for a week or so.

During that space, I didn't contact her at all and I let her reinitiate contact. She told me she was sorry we fought and she had been going to her psychotherapist.

Two days later... ..life kicked her in the face ( pretty much )

Her payments ( she has a 2.4 year old girl ) were reduced down a little, and her brother got into a car accident and had damage ribs.

She took this part personally because her ( our ) original plan was that April, she move back to her parents place so she could start saving up to (eventually) move here.

She feels that she took too long, because now her brother had to move back home with her parents, and there's no space for her to move.

Disregarding this she said that " I feel empty , numb and only angry inside "

I tried saying those magic three words and she said " They feel hollow and empty right now "

I should note that she didn't once say " you're better off without me, you can do better " etc.

I can't begrudge her that... .I've suffered through bouts of depression during my life as well, and I feel the same.

I asked her if there is " any way I can help you " and she said no " I need to do this on my own " and " I'm dissapearing from social media for a while "

I really want to help her out... .we have a fantastic connection, she's been nothing but honest to me and she even told me straight up that she DOES Have BPD and seeks treatment for it when something arises.

I'm just at a loss as to how I can help her out... .she admits me being there in person means she can cry it out, but I can't do that from over 9000miles.

I don't want to walk away from her... .I'd kick myself for life for walking away when she needed me the most and for the most part ( 90%) she has treated me amazing.

She's also a gamer... .so I was going to send her a ( hand written ) letter saying how much I care about her, and will be here for her and attach a Keyblade ( costume jewlery ) from Kingdom Hearts.  The game has sentimental meaning to both of us.

Sorry for the long winded intro... .but I feel that's the best way to explain this.

So quick version

My LD GF lives in Aussie, and I love her ( and she reciprocates the feeling )

She admits she has BPD and she seeks treatment when a problem arises

Since I'm 12 timezones away, my hands are tied as to how I can help her out.

Any help or advice would be appreciated.

Thank you :)

Hi Sarkhanvol

Sorry to see you feeling so helpless.

Just to clarify has this RS has this been purely online and you haven't actually met?

Have you studied BPD very much?

Studying and living with, are two very different things